Some people are so old, they're antiques. "I can tell that I am getting older I went to an antique auction today and three people bid on Me!" was pote on Facebook by Jonathan Ritter…
"I'm so poor I can't afford to pay attention" is a quip that's found its way onto T-shirts. The saying is cited in print from at least 1964, but became popular in the 1990s…
Daylight Savings Time is not monetary savings, but there are jokes. "I'm so poor by the end of next month even my daylight savings account will be depleted" was posted on Twitter by…
"I'm so single when they ask for an emergency contact, I've just been putting Jesus" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many employers and health…
"Refrain" can be a verb or a noun. "I was going to make a bad music pun, but I'll refrain from doing as such" was posted on Twitter by Morris Dutchley on October 3, 2011.…
"Somewhere between a donut/doughnut and a juice cleanse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is somewhere between doing something bad for the body and…
"Somewhere between a donut/doughnut and a juice cleanse" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker is somewhere between doing something bad for the body and…
"I'm sorry for the things I said when it was winter" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least April 2014 and is of…
"I'm sorry for what I said when I was hungry" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was first posted on Twitter on April 11, 2012. TwitterGeneva…
Some call centers always seem to state that they are experiencing a higher volume of calls than average, and they always place customers on hold. "Why is it that all the places one calls are…
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
"I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official (and many others) on…
"Starvin' Marvin" is a name that rhymes, like "Stormin' Norman." "Starvin' Marvin" was used in an ad in the Hartford (CT) Courant on May 1, 1952. A…
"I'm staying home today. I have mood poisoning" -- a pun on "food poisoning -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m staying home today! I’ve…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
An antique shop sells old things, and "antique shop" has become equivalent to "nothing new." "Having seen your offense once is like unto having viewed an 'antique…
During the first week of January, many people mistakenly write the old year on their checks. The joke has also been told about Daylight Saving Time. "Still writing 'one hour later'…
"Handbooks" are usually not about hands, but sometimes they are. "I'm quite the expert on palmistry, I've written a handbook" was posted on Twitter by sikjokes2011 on…
"I'm taking a break from social media. This is so toxic. I'll see y'all in 11 minutes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A few minutes is hardly a…