“If dumb were dirt, you would be about an acre”

“If dumb were dirt, you would be about an acre” is said be some to be a Texas expression; Texas certainly has lots of dirt. Variants of the saying include “you would cover about an acre” and various numbers of acres (such as 7 acres, 8 acres, 40 acres).
   
“If dumb were dirt, you would be about an acre” has been cited in print since at least 1998 and is of unknown authorship.
 
   
CafePress
IF DUMB WERE DIRT, YOU WOULD BE ABOUT AN ACRE
Maternity T-Shirt
   
Google Groups: soc.culture.romanian
Newsgroups: soc.culture.romanian
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (Mircea)
Date: 1998/05/08
Subject: Re: 250,000 Romanian gypsies deported to Nazi Germany
 
You are too dumb; if dumb were dirt, you would be about an acre.
     
Google Groups: pdx.singles
Newsgroups: pdx.singles
From: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) (HDE)
Date: 1998/07/12
Subject: Re: What’s with this?
 
if dumb were dirt she’d cover Texas…..maybe even Oklahama….but don’t pollute my hometown with the dregs of that wastoid.
 
26 July 1998, The Press of Atlantic City (NJ), “Voice of the People”:
If dumb were dirt the Mullica GOP could cover the entire township.
     
AWS
A Winning Strategy:  Wordplay
Jo March & Ryo Sen
01.25.01
(...)
“In fact, we’ve got an expression down here in Texas for guys like him: If dumb were dirt, he’d be an acre.’”
 
TalkLeft: The Politics of Crime
Maher Arar and John Brennan
By Big Tent Democrat, Section Media
Posted on Mon Dec 08, 2008 at 08:14:39 AM EST
(...)
COMMENTS
What you fail to realize:
by Dark Avenger on Tue Dec 09, 2008 at 09:35:45 AM EST
As my Texas granddaddy would’ve told you, if dumb were dirt, you’d cover about 7 acres.
   
Google Books
Butter My Butt and Call Me a Biscuit:
And Other Country Sayings, Say-Sos, Hoots and Hollers
By Allan Zullo and Gene Cheek
Kansas City, MO: Andrews McMeel Pub.
2009
Pg. 117:
Stupid
If dumb were dirt, you’d be ‘bout an acre.
   
Oliver Willis
Palin Favorables/Unfavorables A Bucket Of Fail
1:14 am EST December 30th, 2010
(...)
COMMENTS
The Dark Avenger says:
January 1, 2011 at 3:21 pm
As they say in Texas, “If dumb were dirt, that would cover about seven acres.”