“What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?”/“You seamstressed.”
"You seem stressed" sounds like "You seamstressed." "My mum was getting annoyed because of her job sewing things. I said 'You seamstressed'" was posted on…
Alphebetical for "w"
“What do you say to comfort an English teacher?”/“They’re, there, their.”
An English riddle was posted on Twitter by Tricia L on April 30, 2012: Q: How do you comfort a grammar nazi??A: Pat them on the back while saying, "There, their, they're..." An…
“What do you say when your pea rolls away?”/“It’s an escape-pea!”
Peas tend to roll of plates. A riddle is: Q: What do you say when your pea rolls away?A: "It's an escape-pea!" The "escape-pea" pea pun has been cited in print since at…
“What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?”/“Donuts.”
A riddle about the Pillsbury Doughboy is: Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?A: Doughnuts. (Also spelled "Dough nuts" or "Donuts.") That is, the Pillsbury…
“What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?”/“Doughnuts.”
A riddle about the Pillsbury Doughboy is: Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?A: Doughnuts. (Also spelled "Dough nuts" or "Donuts.") That is, the Pillsbury…
“What do you take before every meal?”/“You take a seat.”
A food riddle is: Q: What do you take before every meal?A: You take a seat. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Google BooksReally Silly JokesBy Cyl Lee Edina, MN: ABDO Publishing…
“What do you think about the execution of the team?” (sports joke)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers head football coach John McKay (1923-2001) was asked by a reporter after a loss what he thought about the execution of the team's offense. "I'm in favor of it…
“What do you think of Flushing, New York?”/“I think it would be a good idea.”
Flushing, Queens, is a Dutch name, corresponding to the city of Vlissingen in the Netherlands. However, a joke compares the Flushing name with the "flushing" of a toilet. "What do…
“What do you think of my Irish stew?”/“It could use a pinch of Gaelic.”
"Garlic" looks a bit like "Gaelic." An Irish stew pun is: Cook l: What do you think of my Irish stew?Cook 2: It could use a pinch of Gaelic. The joke has been cited in print…
“What do you think of the musician’s execution?”/“I’m in favor of it.”
A popular joke appeared in 1894 and was reprinted in many newspapers: "What did you think of my daughter's execution, Professor?" asked the fond mamma, as her fair daughter pounded…
“What do you think would happen if we unlocked the other 98% of milk?”
"2% milk" refers to the fat content of the milk, but there's a popular joke. "Imagine if one day we unlock the other 98% of milk" was posted on X/Twitter by Carson on June…
“What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners” (lawyer joke)
The drowning lawyer (or lawyers) joke has been one of the most popular of lawyer jokes. THe following joke has been cited in print since at least 1994: Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?A:…
“What do you use to buy bar drinks?”/“Bar tender.”
A bar riddle is: Q: What do you use to buy drinks?A: Bar tender The joke was posted on Reddit on July 11, 2016. redditWhat do you use to buy drinks?submitted July 11, 2016 by signalranchBar tender…
“What do you use to clean a pig?”/“Ham sanitizer.”
A pig riddle is: Q: What do you use to clean a pig?A: Ham sanitizer. "Ham sanitizer" sounds a bit like "hand sanitizer." "How do you clean a pig? Ham sanitizer" was…
“What do you use to fix a broken tuba?”/“A tuba glue.”
"Tuba" sounds like "tube of." A riddle was printed in many newspapers in 1994: Q: What do you use to fix a broken tuba?A: A tuba glue! The riddle is often worded as this: Q: How…
“What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?”/“A har-vest.”
A Thanksgiving dinner riddle is: Q: What do you wear to a Thanksgiving dinner?A: A har-vest. "What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A Har-VEST" was cited on a 2006 website. "What…
“What do zombies eat while on a hike?”/“Entrail Mix.”
"Trail mix" shouldn't be confused with "entrail mix," but there are jokes. "What's the Devil Fish's favorite mid-afternoon snack? ENTRAIL MIX!" was…
“What does a baby ghost need at a restaurant?”/“A boo-ster seat.”
Several ghost puns (popular at Halloween) involve a "booster" ("boo-ster"). "Q: What kind of seat does a baby ghost sit in? A: A booster seat" was printed in the…
“What does a blind man use to ski?”/“A skiing eye dog.”
"If blind people have seeing eye dogs, do blind skiers have skiing eye dogs?" is a question that was posted on Twitter on July 18, 2014. ""In blind school they didn't say…
“What does a Broadway actor do when he has the flu?”/“Eight shows a week.”
Broadway actors (and many in regional theatre) are expected to perform eight shows a week. Stars are pushed to perform even when not fully healthy. American film actor Tom Hanks helped out at the…