“What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?”/“Vegetables.”

“Rutabaga” is called “swede” in British English, and another name is “Swedish turnip.” “Swede” can be confused with a person from Sweden. A classic riddle, cited in print since at least 1984, is:
   
Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
A: Swedes. 
 
“What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Swedes” was printed in the Sunday Sun (Newcastle upon Tyne, UK) on August 19, 1984. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Swedes” was printed in the Harlow and Epping Star (Harlow and Epping, UK) on September 18, 1986. “What does the vegetarian cannibal eat? Swedes” was printed in The Daily Telegraph (London, UK) on March 31, 1990.
   
There are many other vegetarian/vegan cannibal jokes.
 
“Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? A: His greengrocer” was posted on the newsgroup alt.comedy.british on March 22, 1990. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? - A greengrocer!” was posted on Twitter by Amber on September 18, 2012. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? A greengrocer” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on April 16, 2018. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? The grocer!” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on March 24, 2019.
   
“What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? (...) And toe-fu”—a pun on “tofu”—was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on May 1, 2003. “What does a vegetarian Cannibal eat? ‘Toe-Fu!’” was posted on Twitter by MonstermattPatterson on November 6, 2010. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? TOE-FU” was posted on Twitter by Lydia Grace Daley on October 5, 2011. “Did you hear about Vegan Cannibals ? They only eat ToeFu” was posted on Twitter by A Witty Remark on July 10, 2017. “My mate the vegan cannibal is struggling with his diet, he can only eat toefu” was posted on Twitter by caughtjester🇪🇺😷🃏 on July 16, 2020.
   
“What does Vegetarian Cannibals eat? Human vegetables”—“vegetable” meaning a person in a vegetative state—was posted on Twitter by Dhananjaya(Dawn Jay) on August 20, 2011. “What do vegan cannibals eat? Only vegetables” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on October 20, 2014. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? Vegetables” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on September 15, 2016. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? Vegetables” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on February 15, 2017. “What does a vegetarian cannibal eat ? Vegetables in hospital” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on October 16, 2021.
   
“Vegan cannibals only eat human beans”—a pun on “human beings”—was posted on Twitter by donni’s darker side on March 24, 2011. “What do vegetarian Cannibals eat? Human beans…” was posted on Twitter by Gurprriet Siingh on September 7, 2011. “im a vegetarian cannibal i only eat human beans” was posted on Twitter by Cooking Mama on January 22, 2013. “what does a vegan cannibal eat? human beans!!” was posted on Twitter by poppy♡ on January 22, 2017. “What do vegan cannibals eat? Human Beans” was posted on Twitter by Gurprriet Siingh on July 22, 2019.
   
“At Cafe Cannibal they help vegetarians avoid getting Hypervitaminosis by serving Cumin Beans #artwiculate” was posted on Twitter by Arnie on February 4, 2012. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Cumin Beans” was posted on Reddit—Jokes on November 29, 2016. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Cumin beans” was posted on Reddit—Dadjokes on July 7, 2022.
     
“what do vegetarian cannibals eat?? Cabbage patch kids” was posted on Twitter by Sam X on February 9, 2012. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Cabbage patch kids!” was posted on Twitter by Tanner Hoops on May 6, 2014. “What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Cabbage patch kids” was posted on Twitter by Ade Hodges on August 13, 2021.
   
“Today’s thought of the day. If Little Miss Muffet was an anorexic cannibal Iraqi, would she eat her Kurds and weigh?” was posted on Twitter by Greg Ledet on July 13, 2009. “What do Vegan cannibals eat? Kurds”—a pun on “curds,” which can be made with vegan milk—was posted on Reddit—Jokes on August 30, 2017.   
   
   
Wikipedia: Rutabaga
Rutabaga (/ˌruːtəˈbeɪɡə/; North American English) or swede (British English and some Commonwealth English) is a root vegetable, a form of Brassica napus (which also includes rapeseed). Other names include Swedish turnip, neep (Scots), and turnip (Scottish and Canadian English, Irish English and Manx English).
   
Newspapers.com
19 August 1984, Sunday Sun (Newcastle upon Tyne, UK), “Riddles,” pg. 28, col. 5:
Q: What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
A: Swedes.
 
Newspapers.com
18 September 1986, Harlow and Epping Star (Harlow and Epping, UK), pg. 22, col. 2:
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Swedes.
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
Cannibal jokes…
Ton Brouwer
Mar 22, 1990, 5:10:16 AM
This reminds me of another cannibal joke I know…
Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
A: His greengrocer.
Ton Brouwer.
 
Newspapers.com
31 March 1990, The Daily Telegraph (London, UK), “Joe Box,” Weekend Telegraph, pg. II, col. 5:
What does the vegetarian cannibal eat?
Swedes.
Helena Winfield (9),
Wollaton, Nottingham.
     
Google Groups: alt.comedy.british   
Jokes, really!
Sam Brookes
Mar 30, 1996, 3:00:00 AM
Question: What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Answer: Swedes ! ! !
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
Greg Evans
May 1, 2003, 12:44:21 PM
etaoin wrote:
> What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
> Grass widows.

And toe-fu.
 
Google Groups: rec.humor
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
duzz
May 1, 2003, 5:58:06 PM
On Thu, 1 May 2003 12:33:25 -0400, “etaoin” wrote:
>
>
>What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
 
Swedes
   
13 December 2003, Western Mail (Cardiff, UK), “Cracker joke or two to win a pounds 500 prize from Asda and be a laugh next year” by David Williamson, pg. 9:
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
Swedes.
 
Twitter
ᴄᴏʟɪɴ ᴇɴɢʟɪꜱʜ
@ColinJEnglish
@Cannibal ; Q: What do vegetarian cannibals eat? A: Swedes.
8:43 AM · Mar 4, 2009
 
witter 
Only Joking
@avinalarf
Did you hear about the vegetarian cannibal? He only ate Swedes…
2:02 PM · May 11, 2009
   
Twitter
Jaap
@babipanghang
Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? A: Only vegetable farmers.
4:30 PM · May 14, 2009
       
Twitter
Greg Ledet
@GregLedet
Today’s thought of the day. If Little Miss Muffet was an anorexic cannibal Iraqi, would she eat her Kurds and weigh?
11:57 AM · Jul 13, 2009
 
Twitter
Mountain Horse USA
@MountainHorseUS
Replying to @jimthompson
@jimthompson LOL What do vegetarian cannibals eat?  Answer:  Swedes.  (I can say that.  Mountain Horse is from Sweden.)
3:29 PM · Jul 24, 2009
     
Twitter
wren154
@wren154
@MKupperman: Vegan cannibals have a wide range of frozen entrees to choose from,...<<< What about Toe-fu?

2:49 PM · Oct 29, 2009
 
Twitter
Krzysztof
@cheesetof
What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Swedes thx to Hilary Benn
1:26 PM · Apr 24, 2010
     
Twitter
MonstermattPatterson
@1Monstermatt
What does a vegetarian Cannibal eat?
“Toe-Fu!”
#badjokes #horror
2:49 PM · Nov 6, 2010
   
Twitter
donni’s darker side
@DonniDarker
Vegan cannibals only eat human beans.
8:41 AM · Mar 24, 2011
 
Twitter
Tina T
@Bundles6
What do vegetarian cannibals eat ?  SWEDES :-D
6:40 AM · May 13, 2011
   
Twitter
Dhananjaya(Dawn Jay)
@dawnjayonline
“What does Vegetarian Cannibals eat? Human vegetables” It’s a cruel joke but I laughed at it after seeing the lobotomy procedure in a movie
2:23 PM · Aug 20, 2011
   
Twitter
Gurprriet Siingh
@JoyAndLife
What do vegetarian Cannibals eat? Human beans…
1:10 PM · Sep 7, 2011
     
Twitter
Lydia Grace Daley
@LiddyDaley
What do vegetarian cannibals eat? TOE-FU.
11:50 AM · Oct 5, 2011
 
Twitter
Joe Otten 🗳🎭📷🇬🇧🔶🇺🇦
@JoeOttenX
Replying to @TheWhoCat
@MsNoetiCat @sarabedford Q. What do vegetarian cannibals eat? A. Swedes.
3:13 PM · Nov 6, 2011
   
Twitter
Sam X
@samxmalone
Replying to @TheAuthorGuy
@TheAuthorGuy what do vegetarian cannibals eat?? Cabbage patch kids 😉
4:42 PM · Feb 9, 2012
       
Twitter 
Arnie
@Dads_Arnie
At Cafe Cannibal they help vegetarians avoid getting Hypervitaminosis by serving Cumin Beans #artwiculate
8:51 AM · Feb 4, 2012
 
Twitter
Amber (they/them)
@acetivist
Replying to @JaredLeto
@JaredLeto What does a vegetarian cannibal eat? - A greengrocer! xD
2:16 PM · Sep 18, 2012
 
Twitter
Seakay 💙
@Sea1kay
Replying to @MartinSLewis
@MartinSLewis my favourite cracker joke; What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Swedes!
10:43 AM · Dec 12, 2012
     
Twitter
Cooking Mama
@420braiseit
im a vegetarian cannibal i only eat human beans
8:35 PM · Jan 22, 2013
 
Twitter
M.J.
@MMMJARASS
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Cabbage patch kids!
#jokes #Calgary #canada #alberta
11:56 AM · May 23, 2013
   
Twitter
rami salamé
@ramisalame
Vegetarian cannibals eat couch potatoes. Wait wut?!
8:54 AM · Jun 20, 2013
   
Twitter
Tanner Hoops
@Tmoneyhoops
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Cabbage patch kids!
Ha. Ha. Haha. I need a life lol
4:41 PM · May 6, 2014
           
Twitter
M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™
@MonotoneofBill
Always wondered, do vegetarian cannibals use toefu?
4:34 PM · Jun 27, 2014
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/SlowkiePokie October 20, 2014
What do vegan cannibals eat?
Only vegetables.
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] September 15, 2016
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
[deleted]
COMMENTS
The_Blawt
Vegetables as in a paralysed person
 
Twitter
Уинстън смифф
@AndyMeanie
Replying to @mammuthus
That reminds me…
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Swedes.
1:34 PM · Sep 30, 2016
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] November 29, 2016
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Cumin Beans
   
Twitter
poppy♡
@poppyexists
this is a bad joke, but here goes.. ahem.. what does a vegan cannibal eat? human beans!! ..
3:51 AM · Jan 22, 2017
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/Outkin February 15, 2017
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
Vegetables.
     
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] March 15, 2017
What do vegan cannibals eat?
[deleted]
COMMENTS
carny666
Hardest part is getting that wheelchair down.
   
Twitter
A Witty Remark
@loudmouthman
Did you hear about Vegan Cannibals ? They only eat ToeFu
2:09 PM · Jul 10, 2017
 
Reddit—Jokes     
Posted by u/johnnykitd August 30, 2017
What do Vegan cannibals eat?
Kurds.
   
Twitter
Buddy Staats
@AwesumSaus
What does a vegan cannibal eat
“People in wheelchairs”
11:55 AM · Oct 4, 2017
 
Twitter
The Angry Bird ⚾️ 🦬
@TheAngryBird63
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat, @stella_tracy?
Raw-men noodles.
8:03 PM · Mar 2, 2018
     
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] March 9, 2018
What do vegan cannibals eat?
Vegetables. Sometimes the wheelchair gets in the way though.
 
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/RickDeveloper April 16, 2018
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
A greengrocer
   
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/dr4gonr1der March 24, 2019
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
The grocer!
     
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/[deleted] April 21, 2019
What does a vegan cannibal eat?
Everything but the wheelchair
     
Twitter
Gurprriet Siingh
@JoyAndLife
What do vegan cannibals eat?
Human Beans… #PJ
4:47 AM · Jul 22, 2019
   
Twitter
caughtjester🇪🇺😷🃏
@brucedon5
My mate the vegan cannibal is struggling with his diet, he can only eat toefu. #1pun #badjokethursday
8:35 AM · Jul 16, 2020
 
Twitter
Paul Fox
@PaulFox50854324
Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
A: Artichoke hearts.
11:27 PM · Sep 5, 2020
 
Twitter
Skar
@_Skarrr
Do vegetarian cannibals eat people in vegetative state
6:31 AM · Oct 2, 2020
     
Twitter
Dzintra - Author
@DzintraSullivan
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
Adams apple.
#notsorry
5:16 AM · Mar 18, 2021
 
Twitter
Ade Hodges
@adehodges
Replying to @LadyLiminal1
What do vegetarian cannibals eat? Cabbage patch kids.
6:10 PM · Aug 13, 2021
     
Reddit—Jokes
Posted by u/nosnakesorry October 16, 2021
What does a vegetarian cannibal eat ?
Vegetables in hospital
   
Twitter
Brum Frankie
@BrumFrankie
Replying to @TheRealAlSnow
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?  Swedes
12:14 AM · Mar 28, 2022
 
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/greedydita June 2, 2022
What did the vegetarian cannibal order as a side dish?
Cauliflower ears.
 
Reddit—Dadjokes
Posted by u/[deleted] July 7, 2022
What do vegetarian cannibals eat?
Cumin beans
 
Twitter
Bill Knight
@williamjlknight
Replying to @SoVeryBritish
Cracker joke. Q What do vegetarian cannibals eat? A Swedes.
7:44 AM · Dec 1, 2022
 
Twitter
Mister Fox
@paulfoxone
@DocAtCDI
Q: What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?
A: Ears of corn and the palms of hands.
9:56 AM · Jan 26, 2023