“Cat hair is my glitter”
"Cat hair is my glitter" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Both glitter and cat hair seem to spread everywhere. "Cat hair is my glitter. #whatislife" was posted…
“Cat hair is lonely people glitter”
"Cat hair is lonely people glitter" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Both glitter and cat hair seem to spread everywhere. The saying implies that lonely people have cats.…
“He’s making a list. He’s checking it twice. He left it at home. He’s texting his wife”
The Christmas song "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" (1934) contains the lyrics: "He's making a list And checking it twice; He's gonna find out who's naughty and…
“I hate getting up at stupid o’clock in the morning”
"I hate getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The term "stupid o'clock" refers to an unreasonably early hour…
“Claustrophobia is so stupid. Let Santa get married”
"Claustrophobia" (a fear of confined spaces) has nothing to do with a fear (phobia) of Santa Claus, but there are jokes. "claustrophobia is bullshit just let santa get married…
“Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping”
Shopping online at Amazon can be easy, and people can overshop. It's been suggested that there should be a breathalyzer test to get on the Amazon app to prevent spending too much money.…
“Don’t drink and Prime” (Amazon Prime saying)
"Don't drink and Prime" is an Amazon Prime saying that has been printed on many images Ordering while drunk can result in impulse purchases and overspending. "Btw, Amazon Prime…
“Online Shopping—Because it’s frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine”
"Online Shopping -- Because it's frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, online…
“Online Shopping—Because it’s frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, dirty hair and a glass of wine”
"Online Shopping -- Because it's frowned upon to be in a store with no bra, sweatpants and a glass of wine" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, online…
“Model trains continue to set an unrealistic expectation for regular trains”
"Model trains" aren't like fashion models, but there are jokes. "Model trains aren't that much hotter then regular trains" was posted on X/Twitter by Casey W Bell on…
“Do regular trains feel insecure when they read magazines with pictures of model trains?”
"Model trains" aren't like fashion models, but there are jokes. "Model trains aren't that much hotter then regular trains" was posted on X/Twitter by Casey W Bell on…
“An athlete won’t judge you for working out…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
“A millionaire won’t judge you for starting a business…”
"An athlete won't judge you for working out. A millionaire won't judge you for starting a business. A musician won't judge you for trying to sing a song. It's always the…
“Celery is just an edible spoon for peanut butter”
“Chips are just edible spoons” and “French fries are just edible ketchup spoons” are related sayings. X/Twitter jeffyee @jeffee @cynthiapang Haha, every time I see celery, I wonder if that…
“Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house”
Many people believe that Christmas colors should be bright, but perhaps they are too bright. This was posted on X/Twitter by stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) on November 13, 2023 -- the tweet is now…
“Margarine is one molecule away from plastic and shares 27 ingredients with paint. Bon appetit!”
"Margarine is one molecule away from plastic and shares 27 ingredients with paint. Bon appetit!" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The statement has been fact-checked and…
“Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can’t change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn’t get you one”
"Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one" is a joke that has been printed on many images. There is a pun on…
“Forget the past, you can’t change it. Forget the future, you can’t predict it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one” (birthday joke)
"Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can't change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn't get you one" is a joke that has been printed on many images. There is a pun on…
“Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation’s children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is”
"Taco Tuesday sends a terrible message to our nation's children. They need to know that tacos are always an option no matter what day it is" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“A sock of pennies is a great weapon. You never know when you’ll need to beat some cents into someone”
"Cents" shouldn't be confused with "sense," but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 15, 2023: "A sock of pennies is a great weapon. You…