“Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can’t change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn’t get you one”

“Two tips for Christmas: 1. Forget the past. You can’t change it. 2. Forget the present. I didn’t get you one” is a joke that has been printed on many images. There is a pun on the two meanings of the word “present.” The joke was originally about birthday presents (since 1990), then became about Christmas presents (since 2012).
 
“Forget the past - you can’t change it. Forget the future - you can’t predict it. Forget the present - I didn’t get you one” was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on September 25, 1990. “Forget about the past, you can’t change it: Forget about the future, you can’t predict it: Forget the present, I didn’t buy you one!” was posted on X/Twitter by Ian Courchesne on December 12, 2010. “RT @iThinkTeen: Forget the past; it’s already done. Forget the future; whatever happens, happens. Forget the present; I didn’t buy you one.” (the original tweet is no longer available) was posted on X/Twitter by Stephany on March 8, 2011.
 
“Two tips for Christmas: 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t buy you sh*t” was posted on X/Twitter by PλTRICK on December 12, 2012. “Two tips for Christmas : 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one” was posted on X/Twitter by Amanda Jane on December 15, 2012.
 
     
Google Groups: rec.humor
Today is Warren’s BIRTHDAY!
Todd Hooper
Sep 25, 1990, 2:14:27 AM
(...)
It’s your birthday so I bought you something expensive you don’t need…
...a course of radiation therapy!

And:

Forget the past - you can’t change it.
Forget the future - you can’t predict it.
Forget the present - I didn’t get you one.
   
Google Groups: alt.tinygirls
any girl
Roger
Jan 21, 1998, 3:00:00 AM
(...)
Forget the past, you can’t change it.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
 
X/Twitter
Ian Courchesne
@bskinny72
Forget about the past, you can’t change it: Forget about the future, you can’t predict it: Forget the present, I didn’t buy you one!
9:14 PM · Dec 12, 2010
     
X/Twitter
κяіƨτіη
@Krissstinnnn
Forget the past,  it’s already done.. forget the future, whatever happens happens.. and forget the present.. I didn’t buy you one.
10:43 PM · Mar 6, 2011
 
X/Twitter
Stephany
@iLutty
RT @iThinkTeen: Forget the past; it’s already done. Forget the future; whatever happens, happens. Forget the present; I didn’t buy you one.
2:58 AM · Mar 8, 2011
 
X/Twitter
PλTRICK
@Pattyboi100
Two tips for Christmas: 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t buy you sh*t.
12:08 AM · Dec 12, 2012
 
X/Twitter
🎒🎤IAMPERCY 💵📱
@1PercyRobinson
Two tips for #Christmas: 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t buy you sh*t.
11:18 AM · Dec 12, 2012
 
X/Twitter
Amanda Jane
@therapywithaj
Two tips for Christmas : 1) Forget the past, you can’t change it. 2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.”
5:04 AM · Dec 15, 2012
   
X/Twittev
Nick Pease
@CanofPease34
Christmas card:
Forget the past - You can’t change it.
Forget the future - you can’t predict it.
Forget the present - I didn’t buy you one.
11:33 AM · May 18, 2013
 
X/Twitter
Jokes Watcher
@jokeswatcher
Two tips for Christmas:
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
10:49 AM · Dec 14, 2014
 
X/Twitter
World Series Dreaming
@WSDreaming_Cubs
lol RT @SwedishCanary: Two tips for Christmas:
1) Forget the past, you can’t change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
10:51 AM · Dec 14, 2014
   
Reddit—Jokes
[deleted]—November 17, 2019
My christmas advice
forget the past, you can’t change it
forget the present, because I didn’t get you one
   
X/Twitter
Podaruk
@IanRoberts18389
Forget the Past you can’t change it,
Forget the Future you can’t predict it,
Forget the Present because I haven’t got you one!
Happy Birthday!
3:00 AM · Aug 11, 2024
·
X/Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
TWO TIPS FOR #CHRISTMAS:
1. Forget the past. You can’t change it.
2. Forget the present I didn’t get you one.
5:46 PM · Dec 5, 2024
 
America’s Best Pics and Videos
JokerSmokerMidnightToker
18 dec 2024
TWO TIPS FOR CHRISTMAS: 1. Forget the past. You can’t change it. 2. Forget the present… I didn’t get you one. fe