“I don’t mind going to work, but the 8 hour wait to go home is bullshit”
"I don't mind going to work, but the 8 hour wait to go home is bullshit" is a jocular line that has been printed on many ecards. "I don't mind going to work but that eight…
“I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions”
"I don't need alcohol to make bad deicisons" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "I don't need alcohol to make poor decisions..." was…
“I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off”
"I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't need anger management I need people…
“I don’t need to go to Area 51. I’ve been to Walmart”
Walmart (an American multinational retail corporation) has been compared to Area 51 (a highly classified United States Air Force facility, often associated with UFOs). "I think area 51 is…
“I don’t run away from hard work. I’m too lazy to run”
"I'm not running away from hard work. I'm too lazy to run" (or "I don't run away from hard work. I'm too lazy to run") is a saying that has been printed on…
“I don’t think inside the box. I don’t think outside the box either. I don’t know where the box is”
"I don't think inside the box. I don't think outside the box either. I don't even know where the box is" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The…
“I don’t understand how a cemetery can raise funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living”
Do cemeteries and funeral homes have "cost of living" increases? "How can cementeries and funeral homes blame their rising prices on 'the high cost of living' ?" was…
“I don’t understand why record stores are failing. They have record sales every year”
How can a business with record sales ever fail? A joke was posted on Twitter by SEC Fort Worth on January 2, 2017: "We don’t understand why record stores failed. They had record sales…
“I don’t usually brag about going to expensive places, but I just left the gas station”
There are several jokes about high gas prices. "I don't like to brag about going to expensive places, but I just went to the gas station" was posted on Twitter by IG on May 6, 2016.…
“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna go grocery shopping like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999. I wanna grocery shop like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“I don’t want to party like it’s 1999. I want to grocery shop like it’s 1999”
"I don't wanna party like it's 1999. i wanna grocery shop like it's 1999" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Party like it's 1999" is a line…
“I don’t want to. I don’t have to. You can’t make me. I’m retired”
"I don't want to. I don't have to. You can't make me. I'm retired" is a jocular retirement saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been printed on…
“I don’t work here. I’m a consultant”
"I don't work here. I'm a consultant" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as T-shirts, hats and coffee mugs. The saying has been cited in print…
“I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with ‘Y’”
"I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with 'Y'" is an anti-work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Cool Funny…
“I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions”
"I don’t make mistakes. I make spicy decisions" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I don’t make mistakes, only spicy decisions" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“I don’t think the Renaissance Festival should be closed, because having a real plague there…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic cancelled many entertainments. "I don’t think the Renaissance Festival should be closed, because having a real life plague there will add to the…
“I don’t work on Fridays, I make appearances”
"I don’t work on Fridays, I make appearances" is a jocular Friday saying that has been printed on many images. "I don’t work on Fridays… I make appearances" was posted on…
“I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house”
"I drive home so quick after work like I'm late for the house" is a saying that has been printed on many imaes. Some people can't wait to get home after a day's work.…
“I endorse podiums. That’s a product I can stand behind!”
Several jokes state that a podium is a product that a salesman can stand behind. However, you stand on a podium, and you stand behind a lectern. "It must really suck to be a podium salesman.…