“I enjoy long romantic walks in Costco”
Entry in progress -- BP Wikipedia: CostcoCostco Wholesale Corporation (doing business as Costco Wholesale and also known simply as Costco) is an American multinational corporation which operates a…
“I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get my pharmacy degree”
Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…
“I feel like every office has 3 people who do all the work and 15 people who just walk around”
A jocular saying about business culture was posted on Twitter by Alex Baze on March 5, 2014: "I feel like every office has 3 people who do all the work and 15 people who just walk around with…
“I feel like work got custody of me and home just got weekend visits”
"I feel like work got custody of me and home just got weekend visits" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I feel like work got custody of me & home just got…
“I finally got it all together, and then I forgot where I put it”
"I've got it all together. I just forgot where I put it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I Finally Got It All Together, But I Forgot Where I Put…
“I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it”
"I've got it all together. I just forgot where I put it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I Finally Got It All Together, But I Forgot Where I Put…
“I forgot how expensive outside is” (after quarantine)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in lockdowns/quarantines. When people went outside again, some were shocked at how expensive it was. "i havent been out in soooo long i forgot how…
“I forgot how expensive outside was” (after quarantine)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in lockdowns/quarantines. When people went outside again, some were shocked at how expensive it was. "i havent been out in soooo long i forgot how…
“I found it at the Colony!” (Colony Music Center)
"I found it! (at the Colony)" is the slogan on the outside of the Colony Music Center, 1619 Broadway. The Colony has a large selection of music; if you've got a Broadway show tune in…
“I found the key to success, only to discover that the door was never locked”
People often seek the key (or keys) to success. The "key" is a metaphor. "I found the key to success, only to discover that the door was never locked" is a one-line saying that…
“I get fatter and broker each time I don’t take my lunch to work”
People who forget to bring lunch from home to work often have to buy it. A saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on August 11, 2017: "I get fatter and broker each time I don't…
“I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why family and friends expect that for free”
"I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why family and friends expect that for free" is a jocular line that has been printed on ecards. "I get paid to be nice to people at work. So…
“I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me, and then I clock out”
"I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder what is wrong with me, and then I clock out" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I go to work, I make my coworkers wonder…
“I got a new job at the guillotine factory. I’ll beheading there soon”
"beheading" sounds like "be heading." "Going to an interview at a guillotine factory. I'll beheading there soon, maybe!" was posted on Twitter by Jay Gonzales on…
“I got an invite to a wedding that said ‘black tie only’” (joke)
An invitation stating "black tie only" means that men must wear a black tie, but not only a black tie. "I got an invite to a wedding that said 'black tie only'. But when I…
“I got fired because I couldn’t make a thousand tubes of glue an hour. I guess I couldn’t handle a fast paste working environment”
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
“I got fired from my job at the clock factory today. After all those extra hours I put in!”
Putting in extra hours at work -- is that a good or a bad thing? "I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in" is a joke that was posted…
“I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It’s too bad really… I had a blast working there!”
"I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's too bad really... I had a blast working there" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 7, 2021. The "blast" pun was more…
“I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off”
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off" went viral on Twitter on November 19, 2010. The one-liner has been included on many jokes…
“I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends”
"Wick ends" can sound a little like "weekends." "Does a trimmer in a candle factory ever work wick ends?" was published in a syndicated joke column in February 1953. A…