“I’m going to start a ride service for seniors and call it OldsMobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one car merge’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one person merge in front of me’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m not drunk. Just avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Bumper talk: 'I'm not speeding/I'm…
“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” (bumper sticker)
"I'm only speeding because I really have to poop" is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’m really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. Like I’m really glad you can see 92 miles…”
LED headlamps on cars can annoy other drivers. This was posted on Twitter by k i r b y on December 5, 2018, and received over 213,600 likes: "I'm really tired of the LED headlights on…
“I’m retired. Go around me” (bumper sticker)
"I'm retired. Go around me" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. Retired people don't have work deadlines and usually take things slowly.…
“I’m sick of these libs telling me I can’t say “Happy Honda Days” because I might offend someone who celebrates Toyotathon…”
Some people celebrate "Happy Honda Days," while others celebrate Toyotathon. A political correctness joke (the original tweet by Jordan Morris on December 6, 2017, received over 176,000…
“I’m so happy I don’t drive. Especially with all this car owner virus going around”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going”
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
“I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. Doctor says it’s terminal”
Many airport jokes/puns involve the double meaning of the word "terminal." "Airport puns go! I'm trying not to contract any diseases while waiting to board my plane. I hear…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this bus seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this train seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me”
A vehicle's windshield wipers usually have a slow and a fast setting, but these are too slow or too fast for many people. "Would be nice to have a windshield wiper setting somewhere…
“I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker)
"I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker) is a jocula saying that has been printed on many images. "ok funny…
“I’ve been driving a Subaru for almost a month now, is someone supposed to send me my COEXIST bumper sticker…”
The Coexist image has been printed on many bumper stickers, and certain types of cars have more of these stickers. This was posted on Facebook and X/Twitter by Ret Ram (Everett Byram) on June 15,…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. Nobody in the car seemed to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve never seen a Cybertruck parked at the library”
Many people do not like Tesla Cybertrucks, and make fun of the drivers and owners. This was posted on X/Twitter by law dog, esq. on March 7, 2026, and it received over 54,000 likes: "i’ve…
“I’ve never seen a family in a cybertruck. Just an ugly dude by himself”
Many people do not like Tesla Cybertrucks, and make fun of the drivers and owners. "I never see a whole family driving in a cyber truck. It’s always one man all alone" was posted on…