“If you drink like a fish, swim—don’t drive”
"If you drink like a fish, swim -- don't drive" is a popular bumper sticker. "If you drink like a fish, don't drive. swim" was cited in print in July 1959 and credited…
“If you drive a Subaru in reverse, what are you?”/“U r a bus.”
Subaru is a Japanese automaker. Many people have noticed that "Subaru" spelled backwards is "u r a bus" (you are a bus). "Billy Sage says that for economy you can't…
“If you drive past cows and don’t say ‘cows,’ you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
“If you drive past cows and don’t ‘moo’ at them, you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
“If you drive past horses and don’t say ‘horses,’ you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past horses without pointing it out to others in the car. "idc how old you are if you drive past horses you're going to say 'horsies'" was…
“If you get any closer I’ll fart” (bumper sticker)
"If you get any closer I'll fart" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "If you get any closer, I'll Fart" was posted on the…
“If you get in my car then congratulations, you’ve just won a free ticket to see me live in concert”
Many people sing while driving in a car. "If you get in my car then congratulations, you've just won a free ticket to see me live in concert" is a saying that has been printed on…
“If you get sick in an airport, it might be terminal illness”
"I keep getting sick when I go to the Airport. I'm worried it might be Terminal" is an airport pun that was posted on Twitter on November 29, 2011. "If you get sick in an…
“If you honk at me, I will cry” (bumper sticker)
"Please don't honk at me. I'll cry" (also "If you honk at me, I will cry" and "Please don't honk at me. I'm probably already crying") is a bumper…
“If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you”
"If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have a baseball bat in their…
“If you look like your passport photo, you need the trip”
"Passport pictures are notoriously unpleasant and unflattering," the New York (NY) Times published in September 1930. A popular line appeared in an Associated Press story in June 1954:…
“If you rarely drive on snow, just pretend you’re taking your grandma to church…”
Southerners don't like to drive in the snow. A tip was posted on Twitter by Chad Sullivan on January 15, 2018, and this was later posted on the 6 a.m. newscast weather report of WBTV, the CBS…
“If you see something, say something” (safety slogan)
"If you see something, say something" was the Metropolitan Transit Authority's 2003 response to terrorism. The trademarked slogan (used on buses and trains) was created by Allen Kay,…
“If you want the traffic light to turn green, look for something in your glovebox”
Waiting at a red light can seemingly take a long time. However, if someone wants to do a small task at the red light (such as sipping a drink), the traffic light seems to turn green right away.…
“If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair” (bumper sticker)
"If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair and make me scream!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. The bumper sticker saying was cited on…
“If you’re gonna hit my car, make sure you kill me” (bumper sticker)
"If you're gonna hit my car, make sure you kill me" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. Reddit -- Funny Albuyeh -- February 22, 2024 A bumper sticker has…
“If you’re not meant to drink and drive, then why do you need a driver’s license to buy alcohol?”
Entry in progress -- BP “I mostly use my driver’s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive” is a related saying. X/Twitter 🇺🇸Jeff Markise🇺🇸 @MarkiseJeff If you…
“If you’ve never missed a plane, you’ve spent too much time in airports”
"If you've never missed a plane, you've spent too much time in airports" is a saying that means one shouldn't be too careful to avoid all misfortune at all costs; some risk…
“If you’re on a Boeing flight, it’s not cringe anymore to clap when the plane lands”
Many people clap when their plane lands and it's the end of a safe flight. Experienced travelers often cringe at the clapping. However, in 2023 and 2024, Boeing had several highly publicized…
“If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head. It’s capsized”
A riddle was posted on Twitter on January 15, 2013: Q: When can you wear a boat on your head? A: When it's capsized. "Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if…