“I wish the dollar store would sell gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I would buy an electric car, but they charge too much”
Electric cars need charges. "I wanted to get an electric car but I found they charged too much" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by C. Erika Lefevre (CAEL) on August 23. 2011. "I…
“I’ll never understand people who get in the fast lane just to drive the speed limit”
The speed lane is usually for drivers who go above the speed limit (breaking the law). This viral saying (over 265,000 likes) was posted on Twitter by slate on March 1, 2021: "I’ll never…
“I’m a girl. Yes, this is my truck” (bumper sticker)
"I'm a girl. Yes, this is my truck" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. Trucks are often associated with men, but many women like trucks, too. "~…
“I’m at the airport and a man just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming around slowly”
"Someone collapsed at the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Medics claim they are coming round slowly" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy Ferguson on January 19, 2021. The joke is that…
“I’m being held momentarily by the train dispatcher” (joke)
A frequent subway announcement is that the train is "being held momentarily by the train dispatcher. Oliver Burkeman posted a joke on Twitter on April 24, 2014: "I wonder if, when they…
“I’m from a town where a traffic jam is 6 cars behind a tractor”
"I come from a town where a traffic jam is 4 (or 3, or 5, or 6 -- ed.) cars behind a tractor" is a jocular saying about a small town that has been printed on many images. "I come…
“I’m going to start a ride service for seniors and call it OldsMobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one car merge’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one person merge in front of me’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m not drunk. Just avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“I’m not speeding, I’m qualifying” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Bumper talk: 'I'm not speeding/I'm…
“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” (bumper sticker)
"I'm only speeding because I really have to poop" is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’m really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. Like I’m really glad you can see 92 miles…”
LED headlamps on cars can annoy other drivers. This was posted on Twitter by k i r b y on December 5, 2018, and received over 213,600 likes: "I'm really tired of the LED headlights on…
“I’m sick of these libs telling me I can’t say “Happy Honda Days” because I might offend someone who celebrates Toyotathon…”
Some people celebrate "Happy Honda Days," while others celebrate Toyotathon. A political correctness joke (the original tweet by Jordan Morris on December 6, 2017, received over 176,000…
“I’m so happy I don’t drive. Especially with all this car owner virus going around”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going”
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
“I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. Doctor says it’s terminal”
Many airport jokes/puns involve the double meaning of the word "terminal." "Airport puns go! I'm trying not to contract any diseases while waiting to board my plane. I hear…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this bus seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this train seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…