“If underground trains are called subways, are above ground trains called domways?”
“Dominance and submission” or “dom/sub” doesn't mean that for every "subway" there must exist also a "domway," but there are jokes. Some jokes involve the…
“If you bought it, a truck brought it”
"If you bought it, a truck(er) brought it" is a popular bumper sticker slogan -- especially on trucks, of course. "You name it -- if you bought it, a truck brought it!" was…
“If you can read this, I’m faster than you”
"If you can read this, I'm faster than you" is a biking saying that has been printed on many images. "If you can read this, I'm faster than you" was printed in the…
“If you can read this, I’m not going fast enough”
"If you can read this, I'm not going fast enough" is a popular bumper sticker. The saying was included in "Stick It Up Your Bumper: Witty little ditties say a lot about car…
“If you can’t afford a Dodge, dodge a Ford”
"If you can't afford a Dodge, dodge a Ford" is one of the oldest of automotive puns and has been especially popular in Australia and New Zealand. Ford began in 1903 and Dodge began…
“If you don’t swear while driving, you are the reason other people on the road are swearing”
"If you don't swear while driving, you are the reason other people on the road are swearing" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If you don't swear while…
“If you don’t use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car…”
Many people order drive-through fast food, then use the extra fast food napkins as "Kleenex" facial tissues. "If you don't use fast food napkins as Kleenex in your car, you must…
“If you don’t moo every time you drive past cows, what are you doing with your life?”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
“If you don’t swear while driving, then you’re not paying attention to the road at all”
"If you don’t swear while driving, then you’re not paying attention to the road at all" is a jocular statement that has been printed on many images. The saying was cited in print…
“If you drink like a fish, swim—don’t drive”
"If you drink like a fish, swim -- don't drive" is a popular bumper sticker. "If you drink like a fish, don't drive. swim" was cited in print in July 1959 and credited…
“If you drive a Subaru in reverse, what are you?”/“U r a bus.”
Subaru is a Japanese automaker. Many people have noticed that "Subaru" spelled backwards is "u r a bus" (you are a bus). "Billy Sage says that for economy you can't…
“If you drive past cows and don’t say ‘cows,’ you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
“If you drive past cows and don’t ‘moo’ at them, you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past cows without saying "cows" or "moo." "You're never too old to say 'cows' when you drive past some cows" was posted on…
“If you drive past horses and don’t say ‘horses,’ you’re a psychopath”
Many people can't drive past horses without pointing it out to others in the car. "idc how old you are if you drive past horses you're going to say 'horsies'" was…
“If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne. My advice, hit it with a ship. I’ve seen people do that. It works”
A ship is often christened by breaking a sacrificial bottle of champagne over the bow. "If you ever have trouble opening a bottle of champagne. My advice, hit it with a ship. I've seen…
“If you get any closer I’ll fart” (bumper sticker)
"If you get any closer I'll fart" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "If you get any closer, I'll Fart" was posted on the…
“If you get in my car then congratulations, you’ve just won a free ticket to see me live in concert”
Many people sing while driving in a car. "If you get in my car then congratulations, you've just won a free ticket to see me live in concert" is a saying that has been printed on…
“If you get sick in an airport, it might be terminal illness”
"I keep getting sick when I go to the Airport. I'm worried it might be Terminal" is an airport pun that was posted on Twitter on November 29, 2011. "If you get sick in an…
“If you honk at me, I will cry” (bumper sticker)
"Please don't honk at me. I'll cry" (also "If you honk at me, I will cry" and "Please don't honk at me. I'm probably already crying") is a bumper…
“If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you”
"If you keep a baseball bat in your car, also keep a glove. Your lawyer will thank you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many people have a baseball bat in their…