“I’m not drunk. Just avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” (bumper sticker)
"I'm only speeding because I really have to poop" is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’m really tired of the LED headlights on some cars. Like I’m really glad you can see 92 miles…”
LED headlamps on cars can annoy other drivers. This was posted on Twitter by k i r b y on December 5, 2018, and received over 213,600 likes: "I'm really tired of the LED headlights on…
“I’m so happy I don’t drive. Especially with all this car owner virus going around”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is sometimes jocularly understood as the "car owner virus." "Car Owner Virus" was posted on Twitter by Loudmouthman on January 22, 2020.…
“I’m speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I’m going”
"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going" is a jocular line that has been printed on bumper stickers. The line -- often given in lists of…
“I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes. Doctor says it’s terminal”
Many airport jokes/puns involve the double meaning of the word "terminal." "Airport puns go! I'm trying not to contract any diseases while waiting to board my plane. I hear…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this bus seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. But no one on this train seems to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“I’ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me”
A vehicle's windshield wipers usually have a slow and a fast setting, but these are too slow or too fast for many people. "Would be nice to have a windshield wiper setting somewhere…
“I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker)
"I’m driving a stick shift. We’re on a hill. Do you really want to be close enough to read this?” (bumper sticker) is a jocula saying that has been printed on many images. "ok funny…
“I’ve been driving a Subaru for almost a month now, is someone supposed to send me my COEXIST bumper sticker…”
The Coexist image has been printed on many bumper stickers, and certain types of cars have more of these stickers. This was posted on Facebook and X/Twitter by Ret Ram (Everett Byram) on June 15,…
“I’ve just released my own fragrance. Nobody in the car seemed to like it”
"I’ve just released my own fragrance, Nobody in the bus/car/elevator/train seemed to like it" i a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker just let out…
“If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees”
"If a 747 can carry the space shuttle, then I call bullshit on overweight luggage fees" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If an everyday Boeing 747 can carry a whole…
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be Sunday afternoon”
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be the Labor Day weekend" is a jocular traffic saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be the Fourth of July”
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be the Labor Day weekend" is a jocular traffic saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would be the Labor Day weekend”
"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end it would probably be the Labor Day weekend" is a jocular traffic saying that has been printed on many images. American…
“If anyone ever tries to sell you a transparent car wheel, steer clear”
"Steer clear" is an expression that usually does not involve the literal steering of an automobile, but there are jokes. "My friend said he was thinking of buying a car with a…
“If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…
“If anyone is shopping for me, I’m a size window seat in plane tickets”
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I'm a size window seat in plane tickets" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "If anyone…
“If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport”
"If assholes/idiots could fly, this place would be an airport" is a saying that has been printed on many images The saying reflects many workers' opinions of their workplaces.…