“I was going to start a taxi service for seniors and call it Oldsmobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I was robbed at the gas station today!” (high gas prices joke)
An "I was robbed at the gas station" joke about high gas prices was popular in 2012, and then again in 2021. "Me:I was robbed at the gas station police: did you see who did it?…
“I was sitting in traffic the other day. It’s probably why I was run over”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Google BooksTwo Nuns In A BathBy Geoff TibballsLondon, UK: Constable & Robinson2009Pg. ?: I was sitting in traffic the other day, which was probably why I got run…
“I went into the local library and asked if they had any books on the Titanic” (joke)
Books about the Titanic should not be confused with books on the Titanic, but there are jokes. This was posted on the Sickipedia website on April 15, 2012 (the 100th anniversary of the ship's…
“I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?”
"Farcical" sounds a little bit like "far cycle." A pun is: "I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007.…
“I wish Dollar General sold gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I wish Dollar Tree sold gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I wish Family Dollar sold gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I wish the dollar store sold gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I wish the dollar store would sell gas”
Dollar stores (such as Dollar General, Dollar Tree and Family Dollar) became popular by selling all (or most) items for just one dollar. Many people wish that these dollar stores would sell…
“I would buy an electric car, but they charge too much”
Electric cars need charges. "I wanted to get an electric car but I found they charged too much" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by C. Erika Lefevre (CAEL) on August 23. 2011. "I…
“I’ll never understand people who get in the fast lane just to drive the speed limit”
The speed lane is usually for drivers who go above the speed limit (breaking the law). This viral saying (over 265,000 likes) was posted on Twitter by slate on March 1, 2021: "I’ll never…
“I’m at the airport and a man just collapsed on the luggage carousel. He’s coming around slowly”
"Someone collapsed at the luggage carousel at Heathrow Airport. Medics claim they are coming round slowly" was posted on Twitter by Jimmy Ferguson on January 19, 2021. The joke is that…
“I’m being held momentarily by the train dispatcher” (joke)
A frequent subway announcement is that the train is "being held momentarily by the train dispatcher. Oliver Burkeman posted a joke on Twitter on April 24, 2014: "I wonder if, when they…
“I’m from a town where a traffic jam is 6 cars behind a tractor”
"I come from a town where a traffic jam is 4 (or 3, or 5, or 6 -- ed.) cars behind a tractor" is a jocular saying about a small town that has been printed on many images. "I come…
“I’m going to start a ride service for seniors and call it OldsMobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one car merge’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m nice, but I’m not ‘let more than one person merge in front of me’ nice”
"I'm nice, but I'm not 'let more than one car merge (in front of me)' nice" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many drivers are "nice"…
“I’m not drunk. Just avoiding potholes” (bumper sticker)
"I'm not drunk. Just avoiding potholes" (or "Not drunk. Avoiding potholes") is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Car sticker seen…
“I’m only speeding because I really have to poop” (bumper sticker)
"I'm only speeding because I really have to poop" is a popular jocular bumper sticker. “I’m only speeding because I have to poop" has been cited in print since at least…