“I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P room”
A "VIP Room" is for Very Important Persons. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes,/a> on October 15, 2020: "I went to a Roman bathroom on the 6th floor. Yes, it was the VI P…
“I went to a zoo and it had only one animal—a dog. It was a Shih Tzu”
"I went to a zoo the other day and it had only one animal -- a dog. It was a Shih Tzu (shit zoo)" is a popular joke that has been printed on many images. The joke has been cited in print…
“I will never have a welcome mat at my house ‘cause I ain’t a liar”
Many people don't like visitors at their home. "I don't have a welcome mat at my door/ouse because I'm not a liar" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There…
“I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined him”
A joke has it that a person (who has no money) is sleeping, but then hears that his house is being robbed: "I woke up this morning to a robber in my house searching for money. I joined…
“I wonder what chairs think about all day: ‘Oh, here comes another asshole’”
"I wonder what chairs think about all day: 'Oh, here comes another asshole'" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is from American stand-up comedian and…
“I would’ve kept off the grass, but I don’t understand sign language”
There are many "Keep off the Grass" signs. A joke was posted on the website Tearable Puns on September 19, 2014: "I would've kept off the grass, but I don't understand sign…
“I’m a big fan of air circulation”
"I'm a big fan of air circulation devices" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Mike Sullivan on July 9, 2012. "I'm a big fan of air circulation" was posted on…
“I’m a good housekeeper; every time I get a divorce, I keep the house”
Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917-2016) married nine times. She often told a joke about her marriages and her special housekeeping ability: "I'm a wonderful housekeeper. Every time I'm divorced, I…
“I’m at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail”
"I've reached the age where I appreciate a nice handrail" (or "I'm at the age where I appreciate a nice handrail") is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I’m going to hire the same landscaper I used last year. He was easy to get a lawn with”
"Easy to get a lawn with" sounds like "easy to get along with." "Easy to get a lawn with" was used by a seed company in an advertisement in the New York (NY) Times on…
“I’m not homophobic. I’m not afraid of my house!”
A person who is "homophobic" has a fear of homosexuals, but there's a joke: "I'm not homophobic. I'm not afraid of my house!" English comedian and actor Peter Kay…
“I’m now accepting invitations to drink and yap on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’m now accepting invitations to get shit-faced on your patio. Book me early”
"I'm now accepting invitations to get drunk on your patio. Book me early" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several variations of the saying.…
“I’ve been bored recently so I’ve decided to take up fencing. The neighbors want it back”
There's a difference between "fencing" (a sport) and "fencing" (that goes around a house), but there are jokes. "I've been bored recently so I've decided to…
“I’ve grown to hate low ceilings”
"I've grown to hate low ceilings" is a jocular one-line saying that takes the expression "grown to hate" with literal physical growth. "I've grown to hate low…
“I’ve just blocked my toilet. I don’t know why I added it as a friend on Facebook in the first place”
Blocking on social media is not like other blocking, but there are jokes. "RT @davidjewood: I've just blocked my toilet. I don't know why I added it on Skype in the first place"…
“I’ve just blocked my toilet. I don’t know why I added it on Skype in the first place”
Blocking on social media is not like other blocking, but there are jokes. "RT @davidjewood: I've just blocked my toilet. I don't know why I added it on Skype in the first place"…
“I’ve just blocked my toilet. I don’t know why I followed it on twitter in the first place”
Blocking on social media is not like other blocking, but there are jokes. "RT @davidjewood: I've just blocked my toilet. I don't know why I added it on Skype in the first place"…
“I’ve just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen I’m not covered”
A "blanket" insurance policy provides complete coverage -- or doesn't it? "I've just checked my home insurance policy and apparently if my blanket is stolen in the middle…