“Millennials. Walking around like they rent the place”
"Walking around like he/she owns the place" is a saying about someone with a cocky attitude. Many millennials cannot afford to own homes and prefer to rent. A joke was posted by Spence on…
“Mosquitoes find me attractive”
"I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, by "find me attractive" it's…
“My bathroom light just went out. I wonder where it’s going”
"My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it's going" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 25, 2020. The joke is that the light "went out" (dark), but the…
“My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it’s going”
"My bedroom light just went out. I have no idea where it's going" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 25, 2020. The joke is that the light "went out" (dark), but the…
“My ceiling fan has 3 speeds…” (joke)
Ceiling fans always seem to move too slowly or too fast. A joke has been printed in an image: "My ceiling fan has 3 settings/speeds:1) Barely moving.2) Kinda feels like it’s working.3) Is…
“My dad always said that it was rude to point. Great dad, terrible bricklayer”
Brick "pointing" is not the same as finger pointing, but there are jokes. "My old uncle used to say 'It's rude to point.' Brilliant man, but terrible brick…
“My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them”
"My fake plants died because I forgot to pretend to water them" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. American stand-up comic Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) used…
“My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to Hell”
"My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to Hell" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I love fall! My favorite part is not when it gets cold,…
“My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down”
An elevator joke that has been printed on many images is: "My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down." "The first time I used an…
“My friend helped me move and dropped 20% of my couch on his foot. Ouch”
A couch joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on June 11, 2019: "I just lost 20% of my couch. Ouch." "Couch" is a five-letter word, and the letter "C" is 20% of the…
“My girlfriend asked why I carry a gun around the house? I told her it was the Decepticons…”
A joke about surveillance was posted on Twitter by Joe Mama on April 23, 2014, and has been printed on many images: "My girlfriend asked me last night why I carry my gun around the house, what…
“My girlfriend said I wasn’t a true cockney, so I pushed her down the apples and oranges”
"Apples and pears" is cockney rhyming slang for "stairs." A joke was posted on Twitter by BarryNeaves on May 12, 2013: "My girlfriend said I was a rubbish cockney, so I…
“My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it’s never been cleaned”
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
“My house sure gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it never gets cleaned”
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
“My house sure gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it’s never once been cleaned”
"My house gets cleaned a lot for a house that looks like it's never been cleaned" is a saying for someone who has a house with kids. There are several slight variations. "My…
“My house was clean last week. Sorry you missed it”
"My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both "My house was clean last week, Sorry you missed it" and…
“My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it”
"My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Both "My house was clean last week, Sorry you missed it" and…
“My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up. The end”
"My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up. The end" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "My house was clean. Then the dogs woke up..." was posted on X/Twitter…
“My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end”
"My house was clean. Then the kids woke up. The end" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "my house was clean... for about an hour. Then the kids woke up :)" was…
“My housekeeping style can best be described as: ‘There appears to have been a struggle’”
"My housekeeping style can best be described as: "There appears to have been a struggle'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My housekeeping style…