“If a homeless person makes something it’s not homemade”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/GameIvan46 April 22, 2020If a homeless person makes something it's not homemade
“If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free…”
"Practical advice: If all the toilets in your house are occupied and you are waiting for one to be free, switch off the wi-fi" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If I die after I pay my rent, sit me on the couch till da 30th”
"if i die after i pay my rent, i want y’all to put my body up on the couch until the 31st of the month. need to get my money’s worth" was posted on Twiter by saint like laurent on May…
“If I die right after I pay my rent, sit me on my couch ‘til the 31st”
"if i die after i pay my rent, i want y’all to put my body up on the couch until the 31st of the month. need to get my money’s worth" was posted on Twiter by saint like laurent on May…
“If I get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, enjoy your murder charge. Now everybody’s summer ruined”
At a pool, young adults often throw others into the pool. It is usually meant to be harmless fun. "If i get pushed in a pool this summer I’m not swimming back up, enjoy ya murder charge…
“If it doesn’t look good, don’t put it on your front porch”
"If it doesn't look good, don't put it on the/your front porch" appears to be a real estate adage (make your house look the best), but is usually a Southern mother's advice…
“If my cat makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room”
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
“If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room”
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
“If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they’d leave that one on, too”
Children leave lots of lights on. "If my kids knew there was a light in the oven, they'd leave that one on, too" is a jocular saying that as been printed on many images. "If my…
“If my pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room”
"If my cat/dog/pet makes you uncomfortable, I’d be happy to lock you in the other room" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the pet is not being locked in…
“If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted”
"When one door shuts, another opens" is an old proverb about opportunity. "If one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted" is a jocular variation that…
“If something here offends you, please let us know. We can all use a good laugh”
"If something here offends you, please let us know. We can all use a good laugh" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "If Something Here Offends You, Please Let Us Know,…
“If these walls could talk”
"If these walls could talk" is said of old buildings, or buildings where famous or infamous things happened. "The stately walls, which, if walls could speak, would unfold many a sad…
“If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly because communication is key”
"Communication is key" is a saying; it doesn't refer to an actual key that opens locks, but there are jokes. "If communication is the key...we are locked out" was posted on…
“If you ever start to feel too confident, just get out of a bean bag chair in front of people”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterDaniPete@mrsdanipetersonI'm pretty confident there is no graceful way to get out of a hammock.4:44 PM · Jun 24, 2013·Twitter for Android TwitterAndrea…
“If you give a weed an inch, it will take a yard”
"Give a weed an inch and it will take a yard" (or "If you give a weed an inch, it will take a yard") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. This is a…
“If you lose a garden gnome, are you gnomeless?”
Many homes have garden gnomes. Homes that do not have them are "gnomeless." "It you lose a garden gnome are you gnomeless? #themoreyouknow" was posted on Twitter by The Knower…
“If you put holy water in a humidifier, it turns the room into a gas chamber for vampires”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterBob Kostic@causticbobIf you put holy water in a humidifier it turns the room into a gas chamber for vampires.6:13 PM · Jun 2, 2023
“If you spill paint on your lawn, you can watch paint dry and grass grow at the same time”
Both "watching paint dry" and "watching grass grow" are classically unexciting things; sometimes these activities are combined. "Any day now... Its like watching fruit…
“If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie”
"If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie" (or "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat") is a popular sign displayed in many…