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May 6, 2023
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I just totally misunderstood the meaning of ‘Strip Mall’ & could one of you guys send bail money?”

A "strip mall" doesn't have anything to do with "stripping," but there are jokes. "Apparently, I misunderstood the meaning of “strip mall.” Can someone bring me…

January 1, 2025
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars break in during the night they will not wake me up”

"I keep all my valuables near the front door so if a burglar breaks in during the night they won't wake me up" was posted on X/Twitter by Tony P. on September 24, 2013. "I keep…

March 22, 2024
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I keep shouting out the names of castles. I think I’ve got Turrets”

Tourette syndrome shouldn't be confused with "turret," but there are jokes. "I have developed Turrets Syndrome. I inappropriately and inadvertantly shout out names of castles…

February 3, 2025
Buildings/Housing/ParksStreets

“I know it’s irrational, but it bothers me when someone parks in front of my house to go visit my next door neighbor”

Many people who live on a quiet residential street don't like it when someone parks in front of their house (and who isn't coming to their house). The homeowner regards the space as…

April 18, 2023
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I left my self cleaning oven open overnight to see if it would do the rest of the kitchen”

Many people wonder why a self-cleaning over can't clean the rest of the kitchen, or the rest of the house. "Why hasn't anyone taken the idea of 'self-cleaning oven' and…

May 24, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I like to play chess with old men in the park…although it’s hard to find 32 of them”

There is a difference between playing chess against people and playing chess with people (for example, human chess pieces). American stand-up comedian Emo Philips said in a November 2009 interview:…

November 28, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksHolidays/Events/Parades

“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes”

Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…

November 28, 2024
Buildings/Housing/ParksHolidays/Events/Parades

“I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with snacks and stare at the boxes”

Many people put up Christmas decorations in stages. "I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages. This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes" was…

November 16, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I live in a two-story house” (marriage/divorce joke)

A "story" is a floor of a building, but there are several puns on another meaning of the word. A marriage joke was published on the newsgroup rec.humor on APril 10, 1993: A man is…

May 11, 2025
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home”

"I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker clearly likes being at home.…

February 25, 2026
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I love elevator etiquette. Absolutely no expectation to make small talk with other people. Everyone just stares at a wall in silence”

There is etiquette in an elevator that people should stare at the wall. This was posted on X/Twitter by slate (the account is now private) on January 15, 2023, and on Bluesky by slate on November…

July 7, 2024
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going out windows”

"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…

July 7, 2024
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I love going outdoors. It’s much safer than going outwindows”

"I love going outdoors. It's much safer than going out windows" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Out windows" is sometimes written as…

January 3, 2026
Buildings/Housing/ParksTime/Weather

“I love snow…until I have to shovel it”

What type of person loves the snow? "i love snow, until i have to shovel it!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Franco Campanella on December 6, 2009. "i love the snow... that is until i…

January 3, 2026
Buildings/Housing/ParksTime/Weather

“I love the snow…until I have to shovel it”

What type of person loves the snow? "i love snow, until i have to shovel it!!!!" was posted on X/Twitter by Franco Campanella on December 6, 2009. "i love the snow... that is until i…

April 4, 2020
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I might sleep in the spare bedroom tonight and pretend I’m in a hotel” (quarantine joke)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic forced many people to stay at home. "Might Stay In The Spare Bedroom Tonight And Pretend I'm In A Hotel..." was posted on Facebook by Daniel…

May 6, 2023
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I misunderstood the meaning of ‘strip mall’ and now I’m not allowed back”

A "strip mall" doesn't have anything to do with "stripping," but there are jokes. "Apparently, I misunderstood the meaning of “strip mall.” Can someone bring me…

January 10, 2016
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I moved into a bungalow. I wanted a house, but that’s another story”

A "story" ("storey" in the United Kingdom) is another floor of a building. One joke is: "I moved into a bungalow recently. Was going to move into a house, but that's…

January 15, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I moved into an apartment over a bank. My assets over five million dollars”

A money joke was told by The Unknown Comic (Murray Langston) on television's The Gong Show (1976-1980): "I got an apartment over a bank. Now my assets over 10 million dollars." The…

March 8, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“I never thought I’d get into Feng Shui, but oh, how the tables have turned”

Feng shui is a Chinese philosophical system of harmony that is reflected is many building designs. A "turn the tables" pun is often made. "People used to believe in Feng Shui. But…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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