"I paid my rent so don't ask me to come out. I'm at home getting my money's worth" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. So much money has been paid for…
"I paid the rent... Now I've got a place to starve to death" (or "Paid my rent, now I have a place to starve") is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
"I just got the new power bill, I believe they are charging me for the sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel..." is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Nora…
"I saw a guy at the beach yelling, 'Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him" is a joke that as been printed on many images. The person…
"I saw a sign that made me piss myself. It said, 'Toilets closed'" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "I saw a sign today that made me piss myself…
"I saw a sign that made me shit myself. It said, 'Bathroom closed'" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "I saw a sign today that made me piss myself…
A trombone riddle was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2012: Q: Why is it no fun to go the park with a trombone player? A: They can’t swing and complain about the slide. Forms of the…
Many homes have garden gnomes. Homes that do not have them are "gnomeless." "It you lose a garden gnome are you gnomeless? #themoreyouknow" was posted on Twitter by The Knower…
A fortnight joke was posted on X/Twitter by FizzySnood on August 23, 2015: " I sleep in a castle once every two weeks. It's my fort night." Wikipedia: Fortnight A fortnight is a unit…
"I stood waving to my neighbour for 10 minutes this morning before realising she was just cleaning her windows" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Paulo Raulino on May 18, 2020. The…
"I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A lot of talk about…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
"Stair" shouldn't be confused with "stare," but there are jokes. "And the time I confused a builder by wanting an unpainted set of steps. He just gave me a blank…
A typical "mother-in-law joke" involves her coming to the son-in-law's house. "Pat told his mother-in-law to make herself at home. She did. She sold it" was printed in the…
A winter joke was posted on the website Pun of the Day on April 25, 2017: "I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps. All I got was icy stares." "Icy…
Many people take the batteries out of a carbon monoxide detector because of constant false beeping, but often the beeping isn't false. "I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide…
"I used to have a rock garden -- they all died" is a classic joke. Rocks don't die like plants do, of course. The joke is that the speaker is a very poor gardener. "I once had a…
A British English apartment joke was posted on Twitter on August 19, 2012: "I used to live in a tyre but then I got a puncture, now I live in a flat." "I used to live in a tyre, but…
"I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed. I should find a job" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on December 29, 2012.…