“We’re looking for someone who is responsible..” (joke).
Entry in progress -- B.P. Twitter Reddit -- Jokes Posted by u/M0ng078 May 19, 2020I went for a job interview today and the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is…
Archive for 05/2020
“Attila walks into a quaint Southern diner. Waitress says, ‘What can I get you, Hun?’”
Many Southern waitresses, according to the stereotype, address a diner with "hon" (honey). This as nothing to do with Attila the Hun, but there are jokes. "I get called…
Big Apple Comix (1975)
Big Apple Comix was a 32-page comic book published by Flo Steinberg (1939-2017) in 1975. It had stories about New York City issues, such as the city's financial problems, crime and race…
Shartonnay (shart + Chardonnay)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Urban DictionaryBrewing a ShartonnayThe prelude to a shart. The brewing feeling in your stomach before sharting.Before the 100 meter sprint I was definitely brewing a…
“We all live in a yellow quarantine” (song)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. The Beatles' song "Yellow Submarine" (1966) was re-used. "#hospitalsongs We All Live In A Yellow Quarantine" was…
“I signed up for Binary 101, but it turns out it’s a level 5 course”
Many introductory college courses end in "101." But what if the course is Binary 101? (101 is 5 in binary.) "I failed Binary 101.I said it was 6. http://bit.ly/1a78s7q via…
“‘What’ll it be, Hun?’—Southern waitress serving Attila”
Many Southern waitresses, according to the stereotype, address a diner with "hon" (honey). This as nothing to do with Attila the Hun, but there are jokes. "I get called…
“A panda feeds for 12 hours. This is the same as an adult under quarantine, called a ‘pandemic’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be locked down at home -- were they ate a lot. There is no panda in pandemic, but there are jokes. "On average, a panda feeds for…
“If you see me talking to myself, mind your business. I’m having a parent teacher conference.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
Covidiotic (COVID-19 + idiotic)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: 2019-20 coronavirus outbreakThe 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic is an ongoing global pandemic of coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19), caused by severe acute…
“Cheese sounds a lot more appetizing than ‘fermented cow boob juice’”
Cheese is sometimes called "fermented cow boob juice." "@buxtontheblue fermented cow boob juice. Mmmmm" was posted on Twitter by Becky Howell on June 28, 2011. "cheese is…
“You can’t spell subtext without buttsex”
An anagram of "subtext" is "buttsex." "You can't spell subtext without buttsex" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "Do you seriusly mean to…
“Dear Plexiglass; Thank you for protecting me from the masked cashier that just touched everything”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many retail establishments put up plexiglass between workers and customers. "Dear Plexiglas- Thanks for protecting me from the cashier that just touched…
“A salad without radicchio? That’s just radicchio-less”
Radicchio (a perennial cultivated form of leaf chicory) appears in many jokes as "radicchio-less" (ridiculous). "It's all the talk about salad-masochism, peas-ophilia, and…
“What’s Stalin’s favorite coffee?”/“Represso.”
"Represso" (repression + espresso) is a jocular coffee term. "Is #represso the opposite of #espresso?" was posted on Twitter by Molly C Loar on November 19, 2013. "I made a…
“Save the date!! The end of quarantine was just announced: Octemburary 54th”
"Octemburary" is a fictional month that was printed in the Rock Island (IL) Argus on March 15, 1932: Single Gent: "What's the best month to get married in?"Married person:…
Google censorship of BarryPopik.com
Google is the most popular search engine in the United States. This website (BarryPopik.com, "The Big Apple") has been censored for over 10 years. There is antitrust discussion of the…
“Depresso: when you’ve run out of coffee. Represso: when you refuse to talk about it”
"Represso" (repression + espresso) is a jocular coffee term. "Is #represso the opposite of #espresso?" was posted on Twitter by Molly C Loar on November 19, 2013. "I made a…
“2019: live, laugh, love. 2020: lather, rinse, repeat”
"Live, Laugh, Love" is a saying from a 1904 poem by Bessie Anderson Stanley. "Lather, rinse, repeat" is a saying about applying shampoo. The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic made…
Octemburary (fictional month)
"Octemburary" is a fictional month that was printed in the Rock Island (IL) Argus on March 15, 1932: Single Gent: "What's the best month to get married in?"Married person:…