“Harry Potter walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A Harry Potter version is: “Harry Potter walks into a bar. Because I put them on his…
Archive for 02/2020
“Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.”/“I know, one of them’s just been serving me.”
A restaurant joke about slow service is: Restaurant Owner: Our restaurant’s snails are world-famous.Diner: I know, one of them’s just been serving me. The joke has been cited in print since at…
“If you eat too much prison chili, you might lose your right to remain silent”
Many prisons serve chili. Some prison chili is quite good, such as the famous Dallas County Jail Chili (Texas Prison Chili). On the American comedy television program Most Extreme Elimination…
“What do you call a retired miner?”/“Doug.”
A miner riddle is: Q: What do you call a retired miner?A: Doug (dug). The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 4, 2019. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/TheWhiskaz March 4, 2019What do you…
“May your weekend be full of adventure and cheer; may the start of next week be long ways from here”
"Happy Friday everyone! May your weekend be full of adventure and cheer, and may the start of next week be a long ways from here" is a Friday saying that has been printed on many images.…
“When you pay for things with a credit card, you’re paying with your future earnings”
"When you pay for things with a credit card, you’re paying with your future earnings. When you pay with a debit card, you’re paying with your past earnings" is an explanation of…
“The sign in my hotel room said, ‘Not responsible for stolen items.’ So I stole some stuff”
Many hotels state that they are not responsible for stolen personal items. A hotel sign joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 27, 2020: "The sign in my hotel room said, 'Not…
“I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family”
A joke about a "family restaurant" was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on February 27, 2020: "I went to a family restaurant and they refused to serve me a family." Other family…
“The fact that my entire body cracks like a glowstick whenever I move yet refuses to glow…”
Is the human body like a glowstick? "My body cracks like a glow stick when I wake up. #holy" was posted on Twitter by Lex ♡ on December 17, 2012. "i love how everytime i get out of…
“Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at the grocery store”
"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at/in the grocery store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A slow shopping cart can have that effect on people. "I…
“Imagine an atheist stuck at a green light behind a car with a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ sticker”
"Honk if you love Jesus" is a popular bumper sticker that has been cited in print since at least 1971. A question was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.christian-teen on March 28,…
“I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise…”
"I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd wake up early in the morning to exercise...And I was right" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I…
“Nutritional labels should include a ‘What if I ate the whole damn thing?’ section”
"Nutrition/Nutritional labels should include a 'What if I ate the whole damn thing?' section" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. Yes, some people do…
“What does an atheist do when he drives up behind a car with a ‘Honk if you love Jesus’ sticker…”
"Honk if you love Jesus" is a popular bumper sticker that has been cited in print since at least 1971. A question was posted on the newsgroup alt.religion.christian-teen on March 28,…
“Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store”
"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people at/in the grocery store" is a saying that has been printed on many images. A slow shopping cart can have that effect on people. "I…
“Nutrition labels should have a ‘What if I ate the whole damn thing?’ section”
"Nutrition/Nutritional labels should include a 'What if I ate the whole damn thing?' section" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. Yes, some people do…
“Please stop the hate on the lazy people. They didn’t do anything at all”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Why do society hate lazy people? They didn’t even do anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Not sure why society seems to hate lazy people. They didn’t even do anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…
“Don’t be mad at lazy people. They haven’t done anything”
"Why we hate lazy people? they are not doing anything anyway" is a question that was asked on Twitter by DearDiary on June 4, 2019. "Why is everyone mad at lazy people? They’re not…