“Alcohol is bad for my legs.”/ “Do they swell?”/ “No, they spread.”
"Alcohol is bad for my legs."/ "Do they swell?"/ "No, they spread" is a jocular conversation between a man and a woman that has been printed on many images. This was…
Archive for 02/2020
“If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do”
"If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do" -- "alcohol" is repeated because the speaker has had too much to drink -- is a jocular saying.…
“I saw a guy at the beach yelling, ‘Help! Shark! Help!’ I knew the shark wasn’t helping”
"I saw a guy at the beach yelling, 'Help! Shark! Help!' I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him" is a joke that as been printed on many images. The person…
“Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak”
"Never assume that loud is strong and quiet is weak" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Never assume quiet is weak and loud is strong. #leadership"…
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do”
"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "LATEST DEFINITION of an…
“My family says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without the batteries. It fills you up, but lacks the buzz”
"Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without the batteries. It fills you up, but lacks the buzz" is a beer saying that has been printed on many images. "Non-alcoholic beer is like…
“My husband says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“My wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it”
"My family/husband/wife says I talk in my sleep, but nobody at work has ever mentioned it" -- that is, the speaker sleeps at work -- is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many…
“Welcome to Facebook. If you’re not already friends with a creepy stalker, one will be assigned”
"Welcome to Facebook/Instagram/Twitter! If you're not already friends with a creepy stalker, one will be assigned to you" is a social media saying that as been printed on several…
“I start my new job as an apprentice bell ringer. Someone will be showing me the ropes”
To "show someone the ropes" is an expression that began on sailing ships. The literal ropes are usually a metaphor in this common work expression, but there are bell ringer jokes.…
“I was named after my dad. Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him”
"Me? I was named after my father, who was named after his father. I should say, 'named for,' for how many of us were named before our fathers?" is an obvious saying that was…
“Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, ’Oh shoot, it’s the cops’?”
"Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, ’Oh crap/no/shit/shoot, it’s the cops/police’?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Do you think regular dogs…
“Welcome to Twitter! If you’re not already followed by a stalker, one will be assigned to you”
"Welcome to Facebook/Instagram/Twitter! If you're not already friends with a creepy stalker, one will be assigned to you" is a social media saying that as been printed on several…
“I wish I could speak mandarin. Then I could talk to oranges”
A mandarin orange doesn't speak Mandarin, but there are jokes. "In a Rosetta Stone commercial, a lady claims to know Mandarin. I had no idea oranges could speak! And with such zest.…
“My relationship with gin is on the rocks”
"My relationship with gin is on the rocks" is a jocular saying -- "rocks" are ice cubes -- that has been printed on many images. "My relationship with gin...has been on the…
“My relationship with whisky is on the rocks”
"My relationship with whisk(e)y is on the rocks" is a jocular saying -- "rocks" are ice cubes -- that has been printed on many images. "My relationship with whiskey is on…
“My relationship with whisky has been on the rocks lately”
"My relationship with whisk(e)y is on the rocks" is a jocular saying -- "rocks" are ice cubes -- that has been printed on many images. "My relationship with whiskey is on…
“My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately”
"My relationship with whisk(e)y is on the rocks" is a jocular saying -- "rocks" are ice cubes -- that has been printed on many images. "My relationship with whiskey is on…
“Waiter: How do you like your steak cooked? Me: Like winning an argument with my girlfriend.”
A restaurant joke was posted on Twitter by Provocotive Sloth on October 9, 2018: waiter: how do u like your steak cookedme: like winning an argument with my gfwaiter: rare it is The joke has been…