“A family checks into a hotel…” (joke)
There's a popular joke about the porn channels at some hotels: "A family checks into a hotel and the father tells the clerk, 'I hope the porn is disabled.' The clerk says,…
“A girl was knocking on my hotel room door all night. Finally, I had to let her out”
New York comedian Henny Youngman (1906-1998), known as the king of the one-line joke, stayed at a lot of hotels. "A girl was knocking on my hotel room door all night. Finally, I had to let her…
“A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future what a can of soda will cost in 20 years”
Hotel mini-bar items are usually very expensive. American comedian Rich Hall said: "A hotel mini-bar allows you to see into the future and what a can of Pepsi will cost in 2020."…
“A husband calls up the hotel manager from his room…” (joke)
A hotel joke has a man call up the hotel manager. "Help! My wife wants to jump out of your hotel window!" the husband says. "That's a personal problem," the hotel manager…
“A photon checks into a hotel…” (joke)
The following science joke involving photons has been very popular: "A photon checks into a hotel. A bell hop asks him if he needs any help with his luggage. The photon says, 'No, thanks.…
“A room and bath for two and one-half” (Commodore Hotel, now Grand Hyatt)
The Grand Hyatt at 42nd Street and Lexington Avenue, next to Grand Central Terminal, used to be the Commodore Hotel. That hotel was named after "Commodore" Cornelius Vanderbilt, the…
“All hotel rooms look the same with the lights off”
"All hotel rooms look the same with the lights off" (also "all hotel rooms look the same in the dark" or "all hotel rooms look the same with your eyes closed") means…
“An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician are all sleeping in a hotel…” (joke)
"An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician are all sleeping in a hotel" is the start of a popular joke. A fire starts in the hotel, and the engineer and the physicist propose ways of…
“Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business”
"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that people who go camping will eventually want to stay…
“Christian hotels be like—Amen-ities”
Many hotels and churches have "amenities," and some people have noticed the "amen" in that word. "Amen-ities! Tech services that should be standard at every hotel:…
“Do you have reservations?”/“Yes, but I’ll stay here anyway.”
Some people have reservations for a restaurant, while others have reservations about a restaurant. A popular joke has been cited in print since at least 1975: RESTAURANT HOST OR HOSTESS: Do you…
“Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a hotel.”/“Can I examine you?”/“Be my guest.”
A hotel joke is: DISTURBED PERSON: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a hotel.DOCTOR: Can I examine you?DISTURBED PERSON: Be my guest. The joke was posted on Twitter on November 26, 2015.…
“Does this hotel have prayer rooms?”/“No, sir. But we do have other amen-ities.”
Many hotels and churches have "amenities," and some people have noticed the "amen" in that word. "Amen-ities! Tech services that should be standard at every hotel:…
“Does this hotel offer a turndown service?”/“Not to you.”
"Turndown service" means "turning down" the bed sheets, not "turning down" a hotel guest. "'Do you need turndown service?' Not if you're speaking…
“Elegance Without Attitude” (Michelangelo Hotel)
The Michelangelo Hotel is located at 152 West 51 Street, near Times Square and the Broadway theaters. Its slogan is "Elegance Without Attitude."…
“Grand Dame of Madison Avenue” (Roosevelt Hotel)
The Roosevelt Hotel opened in 1924 and was named after Theodore (not Franklin) Roosevelt. It's been called "the Grand Dame of Madison Avenue." The Copley Plaza is similarly called…
“Heads in beds” (hospitality saying)
"Heads in beds" is hospitality industry lingo meaning occupied hotel and motel rooms. Tourist boards representing a city's hospitality industry try to attract visitors to the city…
“Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were”
"Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were" is a jocular saying about hospitality that has been printed on many images. The saying was…
“Hotel — A place where you pay dollars for quarters”
"Living quarters" is not the same term as a "quarter" that equals twenty-five cents. However, a hotel pun involving "quarters" has been popular since the 1890s.…
“Hotel as Theater” (Royalton Hotel)
The Royalton Hotel, at 44 West 44th Street, has the slogan "Hotel as Theater." It's located in the theatre district. http://www.royaltonhotel.comThe groundbreaking Royalton, located…