“Coffee isn’t helping. Get the jumper cables!”
"Coffee isn't helping/working. Get the jumper cables!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. Coffee helps humans like jumper cables help to start a car. "Will…
Archive for 02/2020
“Home is where my plants are”
"Home is where my/the/your plants are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The variation is based on the 19th century saying, "Home is where the heart is."…
“I took my car in for a service this morning. I couldn’t get it through the church doors”
When a car is getting "a service," it's not a religious service, but there are jokes. "There was this Manta Driver who wanted to take his car in for a service...Only problem was…
“Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone”
"Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone" is a joke that as been printed on many images. TV Tropes Marshmallow Dream"Last night I…
“Somebody just threw a jar of mayonnaise at me. I was like, ‘What the Hellmann?’”
Hellmann's is a popular brand of mayonnaise. There are, of course, "hell man" jokes. "My girlfriend just threw mayonnaise at me, what the Hellman" was posted on Twitter by…
“My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down”
An elevator joke that has been printed on many images is: "My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience, The second time let me down." "The first time I used an…
“Philosophy is wondering if a Bloody Mary counts as a smoothie”
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad” is a popular saying. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a salad.…
“Someone threw a bottle of mayo at me. I was like, what the Hellmann”
Hellmann's is a popular brand of mayonnaise. There are, of course, "hell man" jokes. "My girlfriend just threw mayonnaise at me, what the Hellman" was posted on Twitter by…
“Employees must stop crying before returning to work. And wash your hands” (bathroom sign)
"Employees must stop crying before returning to work. And wash your hands" is a bathroom sign tat as been printed on many images. "Employees must stop crying before returning to…
“The only thing I know for sure about today is coffee. Everything else is just wild speculation”
"The only thing I know for sure about today is coffee. Everything else is just wild speculation" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "'The only thing I know…
“Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it”
"Junk is something you keep for years, then throw away two weeks before you actually need it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Junk: Something you keep ten…
“For every action, there is a social media overreaction”
"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, plus a social media overreaction" (or "For every action, there is a social media overreaction") is a jocular saying…
“Sometimes I delete my own posts because I’m not the same person I was 4 minutes ago”
"Sometimes I delete my own posts because I'm not the same person I was 4-5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Sometimes I delete my own…
“Nudeles: noodles eaten while naked”
"Nudeles" (nude + noodles) is a portmanteau word that is sometimes used for a naked chef who cooks noodles, or a naked eater who consumes noodles, or "naked pasta." "Pasta…
“I have to plug my phone into the charger so much I basically have a landline again”
"I have to plug my phone into the charger so much throughout the day that I basically have a landline again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I have to plug my…
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fu cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“Nudeles: noodles cooked while naked”
"Nudeles" (nude + noodles) is a portmanteau word that is sometimes used for a naked chef who cooks noodles, or a naked eater who consumes noodles, or "naked pasta." "Pasta…
“One minute, you’re young and fun. And the next, you’re turning down the car stereo to see better”
"One minute, you're young and fun. And the next, you're turning down the stereo in your car to see better" is a jocular saying about aging and driving that has been printed on…