“My ‘dry’ January is Sauvignon Blanc”
"Dry January" means to abstain from drinking alcohol for the month of January. It does not mean drinking dry wines, but there are jokes. "Is a dry January when you only drink…
Alphebetical for "m"
“My 2yo referred to her coat pockets as ‘snack holes’ and this is what I shall forever call them”
"My 2yo referred to her coat pockets as 'snack holes' and this is what I shall forever call them" is a snack saying that has been printed on many images. "2yo referred to…
“My account balance is a constant reminder that I’m safe from identity theft”
"My bank account balance is a constant reminder that I'm safe from identity theft" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker has a low bank account balance.…
“My account was hacked. If you received an inappropriate message it was still me”
"My account was hacked. If you received an inappropriate message it was still me" is a jocular saying that has been pritned on several images. The joke is that an inappropriate message is…
“My accountant went to see a psychiatrist because he kept hearing strange invoices”
Crazy people hear strange voices. Do crazy accountants and billing clerks hear strange invoices? "Horace McGonigle has heard about the billing clerk who went to a psychiatrist because…
“My acrobatic friend likes to paint caged petit pois. He’s a trapped peas artist”
"Trapeze" sounds like "trapped peas." "I used to be in the Circus. I was a Trapped Peas Artist" was posted on Twitter by IG:lil.eddie.turdle on June 7, 2011. "My…
“My advice is to invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return”
"Invest in tennis balls. They have a high rate of return" is a joke that has been printed on many images. "My advice is..." or "My dog's advice is..." often…
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily”
Lines from the film National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) are frequently quoted. Flounder was in charge of his brother Fred's car, but the fraternity boys wrecked it. "You fucked…
“My air conditioner broke today, and I totally lost my cool”
"I lost my cool" usually means that someone has lost composure and has become agitated. However, a joke takes "I lost my cool" literally -- the air conditioning is broken.…
“My air conditioner broke. I lost my cool”
"I lost my cool" usually means that someone has lost composure and has become agitated. However, a joke takes "I lost my cool" literally -- the air conditioning is broken.…
“My alone time is for everyone’s safety”
"My alone time is for your safety" (or "My alone time is for everyone's safety") is a popular coffee/tea/wine saying that has been printed on many images. The sayings have…
“My alone time is for your safety”
"My alone time is for your safety" (or "My alone time is for everyone's safety") is a popular coffee/tea/wine saying that has been printed on many images. The sayings have…
“My alone time is sometimes for your safety”
"My alone time is for your safety" (or "My alone time is for everyone's safety") is a popular coffee/tea/wine saying that has been printed on many images. The sayings have…
“My alone time with coffee is for everyone’s safety”
"My alone time is for your safety" (or "My alone time is for everyone's safety") is a popular coffee/tea/wine saying that has been printed on many images. The sayings have…
“My alone time with coffee is for your safety”
"My alone time is for your safety" (or "My alone time is for everyone's safety") is a popular coffee/tea/wine saying that has been printed on many images. The sayings have…
“My attempt to make the perfect halal sandwich failed, when I made a pig’s ear of it”
"My attempt to make the perfect halal sandwich failed, when I made a pig's ear of it....." was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official on May 14, 2014. The joke originally was…
“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol”
"My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol/ beer/ caffeine/ coffee/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My…
“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more beer”
"My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol/ beer/ caffeine/ coffee/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My…
“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more caffeine”
"My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol/ beer/ caffeine/ coffee/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My…
“My backup plan is just my original plan but with more coffee”
"My backup plan is just my original plan but with more alcohol/ beer/ caffeine/ coffee/ rum/ tequila/ vodka/ whiskey/ wine" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "My…