“I am scared of non-alcoholic lager. It must be a faux beer”
"Faux beer" sounds like "phobia." "I think i have a faux beer phobia" was posted on Twitter on May 7, 2009. "My dad is scared of fake alcohol. He has a faux…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I am self employed. If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb. I’m having a staff meeting”
"Please note that I am self employed. So if you see me talking to myself, please do not disturb. I'm having a staff meeting" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I am so glad that I don’t have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live”
"I am so glad that I don't have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm so glad I don't…
“I am so proud of my Dyslexic daughter. She has managed to get in the school Brass Band. Playing the Toblerone”
"Trombone" (a musical instrument in the brass family) shouldn't be confused with "Toblerone" (a Swiss chocolate brand), but there are jokes. "I am so proud of my…
“I am soo glad I don’t have to actually hunt. I have no fucking clue where gluten free tacos live”
"I am so glad that I don't have to actually hunt. I have no clue where gluten free tacos live" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm so glad I don't…
“I am terrified of elevators. I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them”
"I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them" is an elevator pun that has been printed on many images. "In fact, I'm so opposed to space…
“I am the human version of tangled Christmas lights”
"I am the human version of tangled Christmas lights" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker's life is not in proper working order. "I'm the…
“I am the human version of tangled earphones”
"I am the human version of tangled earphones" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker’s life is not in proper working order. "You are the human…
“I am the human version of tangled fairy lights”
"I am the human version of tangled Christmas lights" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker's life is not in proper working order. "I'm the…
“I am the human version of tangled headphones”
"I am the human version of tangled headphones" is a saying that has been printed on many images. That is, the speaker’s life is not in proper working order. "When I drink coffee…
“I am the tequila, not the lime”
"Don’t be a chaser, be the one who gets chased. You are the tequila, not the lime" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "You are the tequila, not the lime,"…
“I am tired of being a part of a major historical event” (2019–20 coronavirus pandemic)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic was a major historical event. Not everyone was happy to be a part of it. "I am tired of being a part of a major historical event" as posted on Twitter…
“I am transfinancial. I’m a rich man trapped in a poor man’s body”
An explanation of the term "transfinancial" (transsexual + financial) has been printed on several images. "Let me introduce myself. I'm transfinancial, I'm a rich man…
“I am trying to be healthy and grow my own food, but I can’t find any doughnut seeds”
Donuts (or "doughnuts") aren't healthy and do not grow from seeds, but there are jokes. "Was thinking today i might try to grow some of my own food... Where do you buy donut and…
“I am writing a book. It is called ‘I have a job’. It is a working title”
A "working title" doesn't have to involve work, but there are jokes. "It's a working title but it doesn't have a job" was posted on Twitter by tintrospek on…
“I am yet again asking the Olympics to simply let a regular non athlete person do the event first”
Olympic athletes can make difficult moves look easy. Kelsey McKinney asked on Twitter on June 19, 2021: "I am yet again asking the olympics to simply let a regular non athlete person do the…
“I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, then don’t go. It’s a running joke”
A "running joke" was posted on Reddit -- Dad Jokes on October 25, 2018: "Every morning for the past six months, I announce loudly to my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I…
“I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii”
Nintendo's Wii is a home video game console. The name sounds like the French word "oui" (meaning "yes"), prompting a pun: "I asked a Frenchman if he played video…
“I asked a museum worker if I could take pictures. He said they stay on the walls”
Are museum visitors allowed to take pictures? A joke was posted on Twitter by Bytown Museum on June 16, 2019: "I was at a museum, and I asked a worker there if we were allowed to take…
“I asked a Walmart worker where I could find the nuts. He said they’re in the toilet paper aisle”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic created panic buying of toilet paper. "I asked the Assistant at Tesco where I could find the nuts. She said, 'They are all in the toilet paper aisle…