“I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up call” (joke)
A hotel "wake-up call" is usually a morning wake-up call, but some jokes have it as a "wake-up call" for one's life. "I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake-up…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I asked the passenger next to me if they’d switch seats since I was flying with my family. They declined. So now I’m sitting with my family”
Family memebers usually want to sit together on an airplane, but this isn't always the case. "I was a on a flight yesterday and I asked a guy to switch seats with me because I was…
“I asked the teenager working at McDonald’s if the shamrock shakes were made with fresh shamrocks”
McDonald's "Shamrock Shake" is a green mint flavored milkshake, offered in March to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. The milkshake contains no shamrocks. "I asked the 16 year…
“I asked the waiter if I could get 48 pancakes on a single plate. He said he wasn’t sure, that’s a pretty tall order”
The phrase "a tall order" usually means a difficult task, but sometimes it also means literally a tall order. This was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on November 18, 2023: "I asked the…
“I asked the waiter, ‘Is my tomato soup ready?’ He replied, ‘Of course it is. What color did you expect it to be?’”
"Ready" shouldn't be confused with "reddy," but there are jokes. This was posted on Facebook by William Wilson on October 14, 2024" "Ordered tomato soup as a…
“I asked the waitress for a ‘quickie’ and she slapped me” (quiche joke)
A popular food joke has a man tell a waitress that he wants a "quickie." She slaps him. Another diner tells the man, "I think that's pronounced 'quiche.'" The…
“I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sitting next to a screaming baby” (joke)
A jocular comment about parenting on an airplane is: "Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is…
“I assume I burn at least 1,000 calories every time I put a fitted sheet on a bed by myself”
"I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Putting a itted sheet on a bed can be a challenge.…
“I assume people who don’t drink coffee just die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“I assume that people who don’t drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“I ate a kid’s meal at McDonald’s for lunch. His mom was furious”
"I ate a kid's meal at Macdonalds earlier today. His mum was furious" was posted on Facebook by Rob Savant on November 9, 2020. "I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds this…
“I ate at a family restaurant. Every table had an argument going”
Manhattan-born comedian George Carlin (1937-2008) wrote in his bestselling book, Brain Droppings (1997): "The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument…
“I ate at Mary Poppin’s Restaurant. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious!”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Mary Poppins (film)Mary Poppins is a 1964 American musical fantasy comedy film directed by Robert Stevenson and produced by Walt Disney, with songs written and…
“I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever”
"I ate four cans of alphabet soup and had the biggest vowel movement ever" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on posters and ecards. The "vowel movement" (vowel…
“I ate so much okra I slid out of bed!” or “I couldn’t keep my socks up!”
Boiled okra has a reputation for being slimy. Many people survived on okra in the depression years of the 1930s, and the phrase arose: "I ate so much okra I slid out of bed!" Some people…
“I ate the exam paper. Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test”
A joke about "passing" a test was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 26, 2019: "I ate the exam paper. Which means that sooner or later I will pass the test." Reddit --…
“I ate too much cookie dough and got sick. It was an overdoughse”
"Overdoughse" (overdose + dough) is a jocular word to describe what might occur from eating too much cookie/pizza dough. "Approaching cookie overdoughse" was posted on Twitter…
“I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel”
"Falafel" sounds like "feel awful," prompting the pun: "I ate too much Middle Eastern food and now I falafel." "Clever pun. Now I falafel" was cited in a…
“I avoid Twitter drama by being unpopular”
"I avoid Twitter drama by being unpopular" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Man of Letters on December 17, 2021, and again on X/Twitter on June 20, 2024. The joke implies that…
“I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four”
"I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four" -- the first numbers are odds, but the second numbers are a time (it took the horse over three hours to run the…