“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard" is a romantic winter saying that has been printed on many images. "If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you an…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If knives and forks are cutlery, spoons are scooplery”
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart”
"If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Since we call Korean pop Kpop, can we call French art…
“If Korean pop is KPop, is Chinese rap Crap?
"If Japanese pop is JPop, then is Chinese rap Crap?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. The joke became popular in 2012. "Asian music is called JPOP, CPOP,…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’...”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun”
"Liar, liar, pants on fire" is an old rhyme. "If liars' pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun" is a saying that has been
“If liberalism worked, you’d still be in California”
"(Vote Conservative.) If liberalism worked, you'd still be in California" is a saying (popular in places such as Arizona, Idaho and Texas) that has been printed on many images.…
“If life gives you gators, make Gatorade”
"If/When life gives/hands you gators, make Gatorade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a variant on the popular saying, "If life gives you…
“If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic”
"If/When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying. "If/When life gives you melons, you may/might be dyslexic" is a jocular variant that has been printed on many…
“If life gives you onions, make onionade”
"If/When life gives you onions, make onionade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Life gave me onions. Onionade sucks" is another saying that has been…
“If life hands you gators, make Gatorade”
"If/When life gives/hands you gators, make Gatorade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a variant on the popular saying, "If life gives you…
“If life hands you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys/salsa/tomato sauce”
The phrase "to hand someone a lemon" (i.e., something defective) dates to at least 1906. The phrase "If life hands/deals/gives you lemons, make lemonade" (i.e., make the best of…
“If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling”
"If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "And when life is not smiling at you, then it…
“If life isn’t smiling at you, tickle it”
"If life is not smiling at you, give it a good tickling" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "And when life is not smiling at you, then it…
“If light travels faster than the speed of sound, how come a car behind me honks before the green?”
Some people seem to honk a car in front of them at a red light before the light turns green. "Brooklyn is the only city where sound travels faster than light.The fella behind me honks 9…
“If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit?”/“The conductor.”
An orchestra riddle is: Q: If lightning strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit?A: The conductor. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1996. “My uncle was a great…
“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” (Valentine’s Day joke)
"Love is blind" is an old proverb. "If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?" is a popular Valentine's Day joke that has been printed on many images. The jocular…