“If it’s too loud, you’re too old” (music adage)
"If it's too loud, you're too old" is a rock music saying that has been put on gift items such as T-shirts and bumper stickers. A record ad from February 1978 stated, "Ted…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher” (baseball adage)
Baseball pitchers frequently have injuries to a pitching arm. "If it’s the elbow, call the surgeon. If it’s the shoulder, call the preacher" is a baseball adage. "If it’s the…
“If Jewish schools teach Judaism, Catholic schools teach Catholicism and Islamic schools teach Islamism, then what do government schools teach?”
What do state schools teach? "If trade schools teach trades, and religious schools teach religion, then what do state schools teach?" was posted on Facebook by Justin Damask on May 23,…
“If jobs can ask for 3 references, then applicants should get to ask to speak to 3 happy employees”
Employers ask for references, but job applicants do not. "If jobs can ask for 3 references, then applicants should get to ask to speak to 3 happy employees" was posted on Facebook by Dre…
“If judging others is a sin, is Santa going to hell?”
Santa Claus (according to folklore) decides who is naughty and who is nice every Christmas. "If judging others is a sin, is Santa going to hell?" is a jocular saying that has been printed…
“If Kentucky ever gets a soccer team, they should obviously be Kentucky FC”
"FC" usually stands for "football club," not "fried chicken." "KFC" fast food restaurants had the original name of "Kentucky Fried Chicken." Many…
“If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?”
"If kinetic energy is converted to thermal energy upon impact, how hard do you need to slap a chicken to cook it?" was asked on Reddit -- Shittyaskscience on October 15, 2018. "If…
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard" is a romantic winter saying that has been printed on many images. "If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you an…
“If knives and forks are cutlery, spoons are scooplery”
The knife, fork and spoon constitute "cutlery," but many people believe that only the knife qualifies at cutlery because it "cuts." Forks have sometimes been called…
“If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart”
"If Korean Pop is Kpop and Chinese Rap is Crap, then French Art is Fart" is a joke that has been printed on several images. "Since we call Korean pop Kpop, can we call French art…
“If Korean pop is KPop, is Chinese rap Crap?
"If Japanese pop is JPop, then is Chinese rap Crap?" is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on many images. The joke became popular in 2012. "Asian music is called JPOP, CPOP,…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I would be fourth so I wouldn’t have to step up on the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d come 4th, so I didn’t have to walk up to the podium”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was an Olympic sport, I’d probably come in 4th so that I wouldn’t need to walk up…”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If laziness was on the Olympic games, I would rank 4th so I wouldn’t have to climb the winners’...”
"If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come 4th, so I didn't have to walk up to the podium" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. There are several slight…
“If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun”
"Liar, liar, pants on fire" is an old rhyme. "If liars' pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun" is a saying that has been
“If liberalism worked, you’d still be in California”
"(Vote Conservative.) If liberalism worked, you'd still be in California" is a saying (popular in places such as Arizona, Idaho and Texas) that has been printed on many images.…
“If life gives you gators, make Gatorade”
"If/When life gives/hands you gators, make Gatorade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is a variant on the popular saying, "If life gives you…
“If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic”
"If/When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying. "If/When life gives you melons, you may/might be dyslexic" is a jocular variant that has been printed on many…
“If life gives you onions, make onionade”
"If/When life gives you onions, make onionade" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Life gave me onions. Onionade sucks" is another saying that has been…