“If you had fun, you won” (non-competitive sports)
"If you had fun, you won" is a sports saying that has been printed on many images. Participating in sports is often "winning." The saying is popular in scholastic sports…
Alphebetical for "i"
“If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny…”
"If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for the rest of your life -- would you choose hard or soft tacos?" is a jocular line that has been printed on many…
“If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you’re going to get a haircut”
"If you hang out in a barbershop long enough, you're going to get a haircut" is a saying used by Alcoholics Anonymous and similar recovery programs. If you hang around alcoholics (or…
“If you hate waking up on Mondays, change your job”
"If you hate Mondays, you should change your job" was cited on Twitter on June 15, 2009. "If Sunday doesnot excite you ... Change your Friends. | if Monday doesn't motivate you…
“If you have a dad, you really should be thanking him for bringing you into this world…”
"If you have a dad you really should be thanking him for bringing you into this world. Your mom probably wasn't even in the mood" is a jocular Father's Day saying that has been…
“If you have a donut in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face or shake hands”
During the 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic, people tried to avoid accidentally touching their face. "You know, if you keep a pie in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face" was…
“If you have a message, call Western Union” (theatre adage)
Playwrights and screenwriters are often cautioned against sending a political message in their dramatic scripts; the public wants entertainment, not a lecture. "Not one of those…
“If you have a threesome, you have the recommended six feet between you”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused "social distancing," with people six feet away from one another. "The threesome put me within 6 feet of people #SoIHadToGetTested" was…
“If you have a wedding in Paris, does the best man give a French toast?”
The word "toast" can be misunderstood. "If you have a wedding in Paris, does the best man give a French toast?" was posted on Twitter by Alex Sanchez on January 15, 2012. This…
“If you have coffee with it, it counts as breakfast”
"If you have coffee with it, it counts as breakfast" is a coffee saying that has been printed on several images. "FYI: it still counts as breakfast if you have coffee with it"…
“If you have ever eaten chocolate money, you have bit coins”
Chocolate money had nothing to do with "bitcoin" -- which is not a "bit" coin -- but there have been several jokes. "The last time I Bitcoin, I was eating chocolate money…
“If you have ever eaten chocolate money, you have bit coins”
Chocolate money had nothing to do with "bitcoin" -- which is not a "bit" coin -- but there have been several jokes. "The last time I Bitcoin, I was eating chocolate money…
“If you have no business in New York, you have no business being in New York”
New York City has a reputation as a business capital. Mark J. Bitter, a guitar business executive, said in 2015: “The family ownership decided to sell it, and the old saying is, ‘If you don’t…
“If you have one day left to live, let it be at a swim meet because they go on forever”
Swim meets have such a reputation for lasting a long time that a popular joke has been put on T-shirts: "If you have one day left to live, let it be at a swim meet because they go on…
“If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink wine, you’re an amateur and we can’t be friends”
"If you have to ask if it's too early to drink wine, you're an amateur and we can't be friends" is a wine saying that has been printed on many images. “If you have to ask…
“If you have to ask, then you probably can’t afford it” (J. P. Morgan?)
"If you have to ask, you (probably) can't afford it" is a saying used to describe purchases of expensive products, such as homes, cars and jewelry. Financier J. P. Morgan (1837-1913)…
“If you have to pay a fee to keep your property, you don’t own it”
Some people believe that if you have to pay property tax (and government can take your property for non-payment of this tax), then you really don't own the property. "If you have to pay a…
“If you have to purchase a VIP ticket for an event, you probably aren’t an actual VIP”
Many events sell more expensive "VIP" (very important person) tickets. The tickets might offer advantages such as better seating or a pass backstage. An observation was posted on Reddit…
“If you have to think about whether a player is a hall of famer—he isn’t”
"If you have to think about whether a player is a hall of famer -- he isn't" is a popular rule of thumb in voting a player into the Hall of Fame. A Hall of Fame player must be…
“If you haven’t been fired at least once, you haven’t worked in radio”
"If you haven't been fired, you haven't been in radio long enough" has been cited in print since at least 1982. Radio and television broadcasting are driven by ratings. Format…