“I used to have mad cow disease, but I’m alright noooooo!” (joke)
Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (BSE) or "Mad Cow Disease" has affected cattle in the United Kingdom since 1989 and in North America since 1993. "I used to have mad cow disease, but…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I used to have my own business making ski slopes. That went downhill”
Many skiing jokes have it that things started off OK, but "went downhill." "couple met on ski trip? .things went downhill after that" was posted on X/Twitter by Mick O Callaghan…
“I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I used to like chicken more than beef, but that was hen and this is cow”
"That was hen, this is cow" -- an animal pun on "that was then, this is now" -- is a jocular one-liner that has been printed on several images. "That Was Then, This Is…
“I used to live in a teapot. I know what you’re thinking. Poor you”
"Poor me" should not be confused with "pour me," but there are jokes. "I used to live in a teapot. I know what you're thinking. Poor you" is a pun by English…
“I used to live in a tyre, but it got a puncture. Now I just live in a flat”
A British English apartment joke was posted on Twitter on August 19, 2012: "I used to live in a tyre but then I got a puncture, now I live in a flat." "I used to live in a tyre, but…
“I used to mix metaphors, but that ship has flown”
"I used to mix (up) metaphors, but that ship has flown" is a jocular combination of "that ship has sailed" and "that bird has flown." "I used to mix metaphors but…
“I used to mix up metaphors, but that ship has flown”
"I used to mix (up) metaphors, but that ship has flown" is a jocular combination of "that ship has sailed" and "that bird has flown." "I used to mix metaphors but…
“I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed”
"I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed. I should find a job" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on December 29, 2012.…
“I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed”
"I used to own a Bed and Breakfast. Then I ate the breakfast, and now I just own a bed. I should find a job" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by SickipediaToday on December 29, 2012.…
“I used to pee my pants when i stood in front of my 3rd grade class. It cost me my teaching career”
A school joke is: "I used to pee my pants every time I stood in front of my 3rd grade class. It cost me my teaching career." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 23, 2016.…
“I used to play the triangle in a reggae band, but left because it was just one ting after another”
"Life is just one thing after another" is a common saying. "I had to quit my job as quality control manager at the triangle factory It was just one ting after another" is a…
“I used to run a pizza restaurant called Calzone, but it folded”
Calzone has been called "folded pizza." There have been several pizza/calzone restaurant puns. "My pizza restaurant folded; It's now a calzone restaurant" was posted on…
“I used to run a riding school, but business kept falling off”
"I used to have a riding academy, but business kept falling off" is a horse joke that was printed in the book Milton Berle's Private Joke File (1989) by Milton Berle. "I used to…
“I used to run an origami company, but it folded”
An unsuccessful business "folds," and there's a classic pun: "I used to run an origami company, but it folded." "I once owned an origami business, until one day it…
“I used to see a life coach pretty frequently, back when they were called bartenders”
"I used to see a life coach pretty/quite frequently, back then/when they were called bartenders" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I used to see a Life Coach…
“I used to see a life coach quite frequently… back then they were called bartenders”
"I used to see a life coach pretty/quite frequently, back then/when they were called bartenders" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I used to see a Life Coach…
“I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever”
Adulthood is not one crisis, and that's solved, and then that's followed by another crisis. Adulthood, some people discover, is much worse than that. "I used to think that adulthood…
“I used to think drinking a whole pot of coffee by yourself meant you have a problem…”
"I used to think drinking a whole pot of coffee by yourself meant you have a problem. Now, I know it's called 'getting started'" (shown on an image) was posted on Facebook…
“I used to think drinking was bad for me…so I gave up thinking”
"I used to think drinking was bad for me...so I gave up thinking" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. "I used to think drinking was bad for me, so I gave up…