"I try to avoid things that make me fat. Like scales, photos and mirrors" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I am trying my best to be a good girl and avoid…
A statement about the frustrations of highway driving was posted on X/Twitter by New_England_Dad on September 3, 2021: "I try to be a good person, but then someone pulls out in front of me…
"I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant 'food.' I try to find the food in every situation" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
"I turn coffee into tax returns" is a jocular tax season saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is a tax preparer who needs coffee to function. "I turn coffee into…
This saying about eating corn was posted on X/Twitter by tate on APil 29, 2024 and received over 159,000 likes: "i understand that my body can't digest corn or whatever. that's fine.…
"Freelance" journalism isn't about freeing someone named Lance, but there's a joke: "I used to be a freelance journalist, but I was crap. Lance is still in prison."…
A "heavy drinker" is someone who drinks a lot. A "heavy drinker" is not necessarily heavy in weight, but there are jokes. "i used to be a heavy drinker but then lost…
A racial joke about employment has been told by stand-up comedian Larry the Cable Guy since at least 2005: "I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired." The joke is that…
To "spill the beans" means to reveal a secret. A food pun is: "I used to be a member of the secret cooking society. They kicked me out for spilling the beans." "I got fired…
A pun about working as a shoe salesman is: "I used to be a shoe salesman, but they gave me the boot." "I worked in a shoe store, but they gave me the boot" was posted to the…
"I used to be a tap dancer until I fell into the sink" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "You know, I used to be a tap dancer, but I kept falling…
"I once had a job with the circus as a trapeze artist, but I was let go" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Ken3ie 5trick|and on May 19, 2009. "Stewart Francis - 'I was a…
A joke about swimming -- and drinking -- was posted on Twitter by Alfie Moore on March 31, 2013: "I used to be addicted to swimming but I'm proud to say I've been dry for two years…
"Cold turkey" (an abrupt cessation of a substance dependence) has nothing to do with Thanksgiving leftovers, but there are jokes. "Show me a man who throws Thanksgiving leftovers in…
The Dunning-Kruger effect describes a cognitive bias in which people of low ability assess their abilities to be greater than they actually are. There have been several jokes about it. "About…
"I used to be cool, now I say things like, 'I ate too much cheese last night'" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. When people get older, they usually…
Many people just don't go to a new restaurant anymore -- they research it before going. This was posted on Facebook by Sandra Hunt Hudson on January 14, 2026: "I used to be cool….. Now…
"I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You probably saw our posters" is a popular joke that has been printed on several images. "XD RT @sickipediabot I used to be in…
Meat Loaf is the name of an American singer, and, of course, there are "meatloaf" jokes. "I'm thinking about starting a band called Gravy... We're just gonna cover Meat…
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1980. 25 October 1980,…