"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
"I wasn't born yesterday!" is an expression dating from at least the 18th century meaning that a person is not so naive about a matter (financial or otherwise). "I was born at…
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
A pun about vocabulary homework is: "I was doing my vocabulary homework when suddenly I felt dizzy. I had to sit for a spell." The joke was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on September 2,…
"I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before" is a joke that has been printed on many images. The joke is that…
The word "legendary" has had some "ledge and dairy" (or "ledge 'n' dairy") puns. "Ledge n dairy" was posted on Twitter by Dan on March 12, 2009.…
"I was driving to the airport to catch my flight when I saw a sign that said: 'Airport Left.' So I turned around and went home" is an old joke, told about a blonde, an Irishman…
Many jokes have been told about female drivers. One joke was posted on Twitter on March 5, 2010: "I was driving to work today and saw a woman driving down the road with her hazard lights on.…
If a scallion starts to rhyme, does that make it a "rap scallion"? There have been many puns. "And J.M. is an unsavory rap-scallion"/"Scallions do rap music? I did not know…
"No stone left unturned" is a popular idiom. "No tern left unstoned" is a spoonerism. "The professional punster leaves no phrase unturned as in the case of him who said of…
"If ever you're feeling sad, just go for a run" might, at first, seem like good advice. However, a joke often follows this. "If you’re ever sad, just go for a run. Then…
A finance joke was posted on Reddit on November 23, 2016 (just before Thanksgiving): "I was very lonely so I bought some shares. It's nice to have a bit of company." The joke was…
"Hard at work" is a saying that can also have a sexual connotation. "I got fired from my job as a porn actor because i wasnt always hard at work" was posted on Twitter on August…
There is a pun about work "shifts." "I got fired for putting in extra shifts at work. It's what you get for working in a keyboard factory" was posted on Twitter on March…
"I was forced to swallow purple food color. I feel violated" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 20, 2017. "I was forced to swallow purple food coloring... I feel…
"I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it" is a jocular saying -- the "it" can refer to a lost book or a lost anger -- that has been printed on several…
Breville is an Australian multinational manufacturer and marketer of home appliances. A popular joke involves the Breville toaster and the phrase "better the Breville you know" (a pun on…
"Butternut" sounds like "better not." "I'm a fan of squash puns, so I was going to like that, but then I decided I butternut" was posted on Twitter on August 26,…
A joke about the debating club is: "In university, I was going to join the debating team, but someone talked me out of it." Canadian comedian Stewart Francis has told the one-line joke in…
"Woodwork" sounds like "would work." "I'd also tell a joke about carpentry but I'm not sure it woodwork" was posted on Twitter by Amarachi on April 14, 2015.…