The expression "eat my words" is usually not taken literally, but there are Scrabble jokes. "I don't think there will ever be an edible version of Scrabble. Having said that,…
"Thesaurus" sometimes sounds like "the sorest." "My mom just said when she had strep she had thesaurus throat shes ever had" was posted on Twitter by Jake DeLoera on…
A pun about an abacus (a calculating tool) was posted on Twitter on February 22, 2010: "People think I'm weird because I swallowed an abacus. It's what's inside that…
"I swear every time I turn around, I'm paying a bill. I'm just going to stop turning around" is a saying that has been printeda on several images. “@_Fatalatraction: seem like…
"I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying (showing how fast the weekend passes by) that has been printed on many images. "Its moday ....damn already it was…
"I swear it was Friday like 5 minutes ago" is a jocular saying (showing how fast the weekend passes by) that has been printed on many images. "Its moday ....damn already it was…
“Ossifer, I swear to drunk I’m not God” is how a drunk might say, "Officer, I swear to God I'm not drunk." The jocular speech pattern has been cited in print since at least…
"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…
"I swim to look good naked" is a saying about swimming that has been printed on many images. "I don’t swim to be healthy, I swim to look good as fuck naked.." was posted on…
Pinot Noir is a a red-wine grape variety. There is no "Pinot Moir"/"Pinot Moor"/"Pinot More" (pee no more), but there are jokes. "A California vintner in the Napa…
"I take my coffee with two scoops of it's too early for this shit and a splash of zip it until noon" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I take my coffee…
American singer-songwriter Billy Joel's song "Piano Man" (1973) contains the lyric, "Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking…
"I talk a lot of shit about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too" is a saying that has been printed on many images Many people hate Monday, the start of the traditional work…
"I talk a lot of shit about Mondays, but Tuesdays can go fuck themselves, too" is a saying that has been printed on many images Many people hate Monday, the start of the traditional work…
"A werewolf" sounds like "aware wolf." "I told a wolf to go meditate. Now he’s aware wolf" was posted on Twitter by Dodger × BLACK LIVES MATTER on April 12, 2018.…
"I'd like to thank the person who taught me the meaning of the word 'bargain', it means a great deal" was posted on Twitter by Spocksgoat on December 17, 2014. A form of…
"Faux pas" is sometimes punned as "faux pa." The pun is especially frequent on Father's Day. "A friend tried to tell me recently that I'm not allowed to make dad…
A popular work one-liner is: "I tell new hires, 'Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.'" "Boss = a friend who can fire you" was…
The 2019–20 coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic reached the last nerve of many people. "Today I tested positive for Sickofthisshit-20 There’s no cure and I may or may not be contagious…
"'Noted' is the corporate version of 'whatever'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Whatever" is often used to express indifference,…