“I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I’m a cereal killer now”
"I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I'm a cereal killer now" -- a pun on "serial killer" -- is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Oh. My. God. I stepped…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I still can’t believe people’s survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper”
"I still can't believe people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic…
“I still cook my turkey the old fashioned way. I let my mom do it”
"I (still) cook my turkey the old fashioned way. I let my mom do it" is a jocular Thanksgiving saying that has been printed on many images. Mom's cooking of a turkey on Thanksgiving…
“I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room New Year’s Eve. I might not even go”
"I still don't know what I'm wearing to the living room New Year's Eve. I might not even go" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is from…
“I still don’t understand what a wine stopper is for”
"I still don't understand what a wine stopper is for" is a jocular wine saying that has been printed on many images. "I've been known to ask what a wine-stopper is for. I…
“I still hate Commies… even after they changed their name to Liberals”
"I still hate Commies... even after they changed their name to Liberals" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. The anti-communist saying has been cited in print…
“I still have a landline, or as I like to call it, ‘a cell phone finder’”
Many people still have landlines just to call their cell phones when they lose them in the house. "I still have a landline, or as I like to call it, 'a cell phone finder'" is a…
“I still like to make handwritten lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while I’m at the store”
Many people make supermarket lists, and then forget to take these lists with them to the supermarket. "I like to make lists. I also like to leave them (laying) on the kitchen counter and then…
“I still miss that part of 2020 when it was illegal for anyone to come near me”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic in 2020 had one good aspect, according to some people. The social distancing rules kept other people at a distance. "I still miss that part of the pandemic…
“I still miss that part of the pandemic where it was illegal for anybody to be anywhere near me”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic in 2020 had one good aspect, according to some people. The social distancing rules kept other people at a distance. "I still miss that part of the pandemic…
“I stole the car because I had to get to work” (joke)
A joke about a man who steals a car to get to work is: JUDGE: Why did you steal the car? MAN: I had to get to work.JUDGE: Why didn't you take the bus? MAN: I don't have a driver's…
“I stole yeast from the local bakery. They can’t prove a thing”
"Proofing" is a step in the preparation of yeast bread. There are several puns about this process. "I stole yeast from the local bakery. They can't prove a thing" was…
“I stood waving at my neighbor for 10 minutes before realizing she was just cleaning her windows”
"I stood waving to my neighbour for 10 minutes this morning before realising she was just cleaning her windows" is a joke that was posted on Facebook by Paulo Raulino on May 18, 2020. The…
“I stop the microwave with 1 second to go so I can feel like a bomb disposal expert”
Many people stop the microwave with one second left and take their food out; this makes them feel like a bomb defusal/disposal expert. "I like to stop the microwave when it gets to one second.…
“I stopped living paycheck to paycheck. Now I live direct deposit to direct deposit”
"I grew up living paycheck to paycheck, but through hard work and perseverance, I now live direct deposit to direct deposit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved”
"I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved" is a jocular one-line math saying that has been printed on several images. "I stopped understanding maths…
“I struggle with Roman numerals until I get to 159. Then it just CLIX”
The Roman numerals for the number "159" are "CLIX" (that some pronounce as "clicks"). "I find it difficult to count in Roman numerals until the number 159, then…
“I study every day for 4 hours and if I miss a day, I add 4 hours to the next day…”
A joke has it that the speaker is supposed to do something for a few minutes each day (such as run or study), amd if a day is missed, the time is added to the next day. The speaker then says that…
“I study old buildings because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down”
"I read old books because I would rather learn from those who built civilization than those who tore it down" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A lot of talk about…
“I stumbled across a website for clumsy people”
"They should make a social media website for clumsy people named Stumblr" was posted on Twitter on February 4, 2012. "A website for clumsy people: stumblr" was posted on Twitter…