“I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na”
The symbol for the chemical element Sodium is "Na," prompting the popular joke: "I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na." "'Hey, know any good jokes about…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I was going to post about my afternoon run, but I was autocorrected to afternoon rum”
"Run" and "rum" should not be confused. "@BKnockin afternoon run or rum? I like the latter ;)" was posted on Twitter by Michelle “MBennz” Bennett on January 5,…
“I was going to share a vegetable joke, but it’s corny”
Corn has many "corny" jokes. "Wanna hear a vegetable joke? nevermind, its too CORNy...meheh" was posted on Twitter on November 16, 2010. "I was gonna share a vegetable…
“I was going to start a hillside herb garden, but didn’t have the thyme or the inclination”
A joke about planting an herb garden was posted on Twitter by Shane Jarvis on September 22, 2009: "Was going to start a herb garden business on a hillside but I found I didn't have the…
“I was going to start a taxi service for seniors and call it Oldsmobile”
Oldsmobile was a brand of American automobiles from 1897 to 2004. The company was named after Ransom E. Olds (1864-1950). The "Oldsmobile" name doesn't mean that it's an…
“I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you”
A finance joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on September 29, 2017: "I was going to tell a finance joke, but then again, it would bear no interest to you." Reddit -- OnelinersI was…
“I was going to turn all my guns over to the government, but I did a background check…”
"Well, I was going to turn all my guns over to the government; but I did a background check and none of them were mentally stable" was posted on Twitter by Doug Sehorne on September 15,…
“I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy…”
Holidays can interfere with dieting. "I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving and Christmas candy. Before you know it, it's BBQ season again and I'm…
“I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift” (joke)
The term "wait a minute" doesn't literally mean that, but there's a joke: "I was in a restaurant last night and the waiter asked me to cover his shift for 60 seconds. I…
“I was in love with Harlem long before I got there”
American poet Langston Hughes (1902-1967) was born in Missouri, but arrived in New York City in the 1920s to attend Columbia College. In his autobiography, The Big Sea (1940), Hughes wrote: "I…
“I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won…” (joke)
The New York Yankees don't have anything to do with the Yankees of the Civil War, but there's a joke: "I was in NYC and this black guy asked me if the Yankees won, I said, 'Yeah…
“I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions”
"Infractions" shouldn't be confused with "in fractions," but there are jokes. "I was kicked out of math class for one too many infractions. Pun of the Day…
“I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking”
"I was led to believe adulthood would involve more cocktail sipping and less everything sucking" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Facebook on May…
“I was massively overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly”
Jelly (such as Jell-O) wobbles. A joke was posted on Twitter by Pablo Egglescobar on June 11, 2011: "I was overcharged for a jelly this morning. It was daylight wobbly." The joke is that…
“I was meant to be rich, I just know it. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money”
"I was meant to be rich. I can tell by the way I spend money" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was born to be rich, I can tell by the way i spend"…
“I was named after my dad. Because I couldn’t possibly have been named before him”
"Me? I was named after my father, who was named after his father. I should say, 'named for,' for how many of us were named before our fathers?" is an obvious saying that was…
“I was never a photogenic person, mainly because when everyone said cheese I said ‘where?!’”
A photographer sometimes gets people to smile by getting subjects to say "cheese." A joke is: "I was never a photogenic person, mainly because when everyone said cheese I said…
“I was on the beach and got hit by a massive wave of cake. It was a tiramisunami”
"Tiramisu" (a coffee-flavoured Italian dessert) and "tsunami" (a series of waves in a water body) are two foreign language words that are sometimes combined to form…
“I was out on a date with a girl, when I asked her, ‘Do you spit or swallow?’” (wine tasting joke)
"Do you spit or swallow?" is a wine tasting question (and oral sex double entendre). "Wine tasting.. Where to ask a chick whether she spits or swallows is considered good…