Can you buy a half chicken at Whole Foods? The joke was popularized by American stand-up comedian and actor Brody Stevens (1970-2019). "Whole Foods? Once bought a half-chicken there. Get it?…
American singer, songwriter and novelist Kinky Friedman joked on the Jewish reputation for being tight with money. "Y'know the definition of a Jewish Cadillac? It stops on a dime and…
American singer, songwriter and novelist Kinky Friedman joked on the Jewish reputation for being tight with money. "Y'know the definition of a Jewish Cadillac? It stops on a dime and…
"Four loaf cleaver" is a spoonerism for "four leaf clover." The jocular "four loaf cleaver" has been cited in print since at least 1948 and 1957. Newspapers.com25 June…
"Cutting hedge technology" is a pun on "cutting-edge technology." "Christopher Lloyd treats his garden to cutting-hedge technology" was printed in i> The Guardian…
Pancakes aren't made of pans, but there are jokes. "I bought a pancake but had to take it back to the shops.... Didn't taste anything like a pan" was posted on Twitter by 3AM on…
There are many time travel jokes. "MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: 'I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow'" is a…
UPS delivery drivers get plenty of parking tickets, but the vehicles are still often parked where regular cars cannot. A joke is: "I bought a used UPS truck. It gets bad gas mileage, but I can…
"Buying an alcoholic ginger beer" can be interpreted as buying "alcoholic ginger beer," or as buying an alcoholic a "ginger beer" (usually non-alcoholic), or as buying…
A "cross-trainer" (elliptical trainer) is not the same thing as a "trainer who is cross," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on January 10, 2018:…
The expression "for good measure" usually doesn't involve actual measuring, but there are jokes. "I needed to buy a new ruler and they were 2 for 50p. I bought an extra one for…
Bath salts are not for eating baths -- and there is no "bath peppers" -- but there are jokes. "For the woman you love, how about bath salts? And for the woman you hate how about bath…
"Bada bing, bada boom!" is an expression to emphasize something regarded as surprising, sudden, effortlessly achieved or impressive. There have been many puns on the expression, with a…
Faces "light up" when people receive gifts. Steve Toyne posted on Twitter on November 5, 2010 and reposted as a Christmas joke on December 22, 2014: "I bought my girlfriend a fridge…
"Toupee" sounds like "to pay." A joke was posted on Sickipedia on December 20, 2019: "I bought my wig at a discount store. Didn't want toupee full price."…
"Dimmer" switches aren't less intelligent than "smart" switches -- they're just less bright. A joke was posted on Twitter by TAYLOR (and others) on April 13, 2021:…
"Just add water" is a popular direction on simple recipes or product instructions. "I bought powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it" is a joke that has been…
"Batteries not included" is a popular phrase on many toy boxes. American stand-up comedian Steven Wright said in his act in 1985: "I also bought some batteries, but they weren't…
HP Sauce is a brown sauce popular in the United Kingdom. British prop comedian and magician Tommy Cooper (1921-1984) was credited in 2001 for this joke: "I bought some HP sauce the other day.…
Pepper spray is not a food product, but there are jokes. "On recommendation of a buddy I bought some pepper spray. Must say, it does not taste half as good as I would have hoped" was…