“I bought a second-hand time machine next Tuesday…”

There are many time travel jokes. “MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: ‘I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow’” is a time travel joke that was printed in The Sun (London, UK) on December 27, 2000. “I bought a second-hand time machine from a bloke down the pub. Sure enough, it broke down next Monday” was printed in the Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland) on January 23, 2001.
 
“I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1GF3Vc7  via @sickipedia” was posted on Twitter on May 27, 2015.
 
           
27 December 2000, The Sun (London, UK), “Walford gives Corrie a Christmas stuffing” by Garry BUshell, pg. 11:
MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: “I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow.”
   
23 January 2001, Daily Record (Glasgow, Scotland), “Football: TAM COWAN: Parental Guidance Recommended,” pg. 43:
I bought a second-hand time machine from a bloke down the pub. Sure enough, it broke down next Monday.
         
Twitter
Mark Summers
@markysumm
I bought a second hand time machine today. It’s only got 9000 years on the clock.
9:55 AM - 30 Aug 2013
   
Twitter
Fresh Stand Up
@FreshStandUp
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1GF3Vc7  via @sickipedia
9:34 PM - 27 May 2015
   
Twitter
Sickipedia Official
@sickipedia
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore. http://bit.ly/1RrcH0t
4:15 PM - 28 May 2015
 
Reddit—Jokes
Time Machine
submitted June 2, 2015 by trigger_m
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
 
Reddit—Jokes
I bought a time machine.
submitted October 16, 2016 by Dj_Deadpool
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
 
Twitter
Bob Kostic
@causticbob
I bought a second hand Time Machine next Tuesday.
They don’t make them like they are going to anymore.
5:53 PM - 30 Mar 2017
 
Reddit—Jokes
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.
submitted April 9, 2017 by tampared
They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
 
Reddit—Cleanjokes
I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday… (self.cleanjokes)
submitted June 4, 2018 by madazzahatter
They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore…