“I bought some serving spoons, but they haven’t made me any better at tennis”
"Serving spoons" don't have anything to do with tennis serves, but there are jokes. "I bought some serving spoons, but they haven't made me any better at tennis" was…
Alphebetical for "i"
“I brake for animals not people” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals so get off my tail” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals so stay off my tail” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for animals” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for animals" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "Warning -- I Brake For Animals" (a bumper sticker slogan from Friends of Animals, Inc. in…
“I brake for butterflies” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for butterflies" is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker has been cited in print since at least 1981. Newspapers.com 30 October 1981,…
“I brake for coffee” (bumper sticker)
"I brake for coffee" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. It's a joke on the "coffee break." "Bumper Sticker: 'I break for…
“I brake for no reason” (bumper sticker)
"CAUTION: I brake for no apparent reason" (or "WARNING: I brake for no apparent reason") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. "New Driver -- I…
“I break for coffee” (bumper sticker)
"I break for coffee" is a jocular bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. It's a joke on the "coffee break." "WARNING! I BREAK FOR COFFEE"…
“I broke up with my gym. We were not working out”
"I broke up with my gym; we were just not working out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts. "I broke up with my Gym, we were not working out" was cited on…
“I brought a home pregnancy kit. Turns out my house is pregnant”
A "home pregnancy test" is a pregnancy test done at home. It is not a test to see if a home is pregnant, but there are jokes. "I see home pregnancy tests advertised, but I've…
“I build yachts in my attic. Sails are going through the roof”
"Sales/Profits are going through the roof” is an expression meaning that a business is generating a lot of money. One pun on "sales"/"sails" is: "I started a…
“I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself”
"I burn about 2000 calories every time I put on fitted sheets by myself" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Putting a itted sheet on a bed can be a challenge.…
“I burnt my Hawaiian pizza. I should’ve put it on aloha setting”
A popular Hawaiian pizza pun is: "I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night... I should've put it on aloha setting." That is, "a lower" oven temperature setting. "I just…
“I buy fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon”
"I buy/pick fresh vegetables every day. I feed them to my pig and he converts them into bacon" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. "HEALTHY EATING #36 I BUY…
“I buy store brand Spanish rice, not name brands. As they say, ‘Arroz by any other name…’”
"Arroz" (the Spanish word for "rice") can sound like "a "rose." "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" is a famous line from William…
“I call bravo sierra” (“I call bullshit”)
"Bravo sierra" means, using the phonetic alphabet, the letters "B" and "S," and stands for the words "bull shit" (or "bullshit"). "I think…
“I call it coffee, but the truth is, it’s a hot cup of fresh brewed tolerance. Now, bring on the nonsense”
A cup of coffee brings calmness and tolerance to many people. "I call it coffee, but the truth is, it's a hot cup of fresh brewed tolerance. Now, bring on the nonsense" (shown on an…
“I call myself terms and conditions because y’all keep ignoring me”
People often ignore reading terms and conditions. "RT @Abbyglasby: Being ignored so much I call myself Terms & Conditions" was posted on Twitter by سارة on October 3, 2012.…
“I called my stockbroker today and asked him, ‘What are you buying?’ He said, ‘Canned goods’”
"Called my stockbroker this morning and asked him what I should be buying? He said, "Canned goods and ammunition'" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is,…