North Carolina: Turpentine State (nickname)
North Carolina is now known as the "Tar Heel State," but in the early 19th century it was known as the "Tar and Turpentine State" (or just "Turpentine State"). The…
North Carolina: Rip Van Winkle State (nickname)
Rip Van Winkle is the famous sleeper in a popular story of that name by author Washington Irving (1783-1859) that appeared in The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon, Gent. (1819). In 1833, William…
“What’s the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?”/“About three decibels.”
Trumpet playing can be loud, and a popular joke is: Q: What's the difference between a jet airplane and a trumpet?A: About three decibels. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2000.…
“What has three legs and an asshole on top?”/“A drum stool.”
Drummers are on the receiving end of many jokes. A popular joke was cited in 1993: Q: What has three legs and a dick on top?A: A drum stool. Another version was cited in 1996: Q: What has three…
“Did you hear my last recital?”/“I hope so.”
A popular joke about tuba players is: Tuba Player: "Did you hear my last recital?"Friend: "I hope so." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1994. Google Groups:…
“What is a relative minor?”/“A country western musician’s girlfriend.”
A popular musician joke about the relative keys is: Q: What is a relative minor?A: A country western musician's girlfriend. An Internet list circulated by at least 1995 was titled…
“How do you make a musician complain?”/“Give him a gig.”
Musicians are seldom satisfied. An old joke is: Q: How do you make a musician complain?A: Give him a gig. The joke has been cited in print since at least the 1990s. A variation was cited on Twitter…
“A piece of gold walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular chemistry joke is: "A piece of gold walks into a bar. The Barman says,…
“Why do mathematicians like parks?”/“Because of all the natural logs.”
A popular math joke is: Q: Why do mathematicians like parks?A: Because of all the natural logs. The natural logarithm ("natural logs") joke has been cited in print since at least 2006.…
“What does a physicist have for lunch?”/“Fission chips.”
"Fish and chips" became "fission chips" from several punsters in the 1940s, at the start of the nuclear age. "Fission chips" has been cited in print since at least…
“I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won’t get a reaction”
"I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I won't get a reaction" is a jocular line printed on many images. "I was going to make a chemistry joke, but I wasn't sure…
“When I die, I want the Mets to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time”
"When I die, I want (X) to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time" is a popular meme on many images. That 'X" is often a sports player or sports team. "I…
“When I die, I want the people I did group projects with to lower me into my grave” (joke)
"When I die, I want (X) to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time" is a popular meme on many images. That 'X" is often a sports player or sports team. "I…
Oilpocalypse (oil + apocalypse)
"Oilpocalypse" (oil + apocalypse) can mean when the price of oil goes wildly up or down, or when there's a large oil spill. "Trust me, when the Oilpocalypse comes, I'll…
“Glutton — A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted”
A jocular definition of a "glutton" appeared (uncredited) in a 1947 newspaper: "A glutton is a person who takes the piece of layer cake you wanted." "GLUTTON: Someone who…
“The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name” (golf saying)
A popular golf saying is: "The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name...and they say golf is a quiet game." The saying has been cited in print since at least 2001…
“The best wood in an amateur’s bag is a pencil” (golf joke)
Professional golfer Chi-Chi Rodriguez told many one-liners on the golf tour. At the U.S. Open in 1979, Rodriguez joked about a pencil: "That's the best wood in the bag for an amateur. If…
“Golf is an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle”
"Golf is an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle" was cited in 1999 and is of unknown authorship. "Golf can best be described as an endless series of…
“Relationships are like algebra. You look at your X and wonder Y”
A popular algebra joke has been printed on T-shirts and ecards: "Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?" "This relationship shit is like…
“What do you call a bear with no teeth?”/“A gummy bear.”
A popular joke about gummy bears fruit candy is: Q: What you call a bear with no teeth?A: A gummy bear. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Wikipedia: Gummy bearA gummy bear…