“Philosophy majors ask why you want fries with that”
"Do you want fries with that?" is a popular question asked at many fast food restaurants. By extension, it's used in several jokes about liberal arts graduates who seemingly…
“Jingle bells, Batman smells”
Entry in progress -- B.P.Batman television series premiered in January 1966 Wikipedia: Jingle Bells"Jingle Bells" is one of the best-known and commonly sung American songs in the world.…
“If time heals all wounds, what happens when you get hit in the head with a clock?”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterNate Thomas@natezthomasIf time heals all wounds, what happens if you get smashed in the head with a clock?1:44 PM - 30 Jan 2013 TwitterManuel…
“Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?”/“He had a big bill.”
A pelican has a large "bill," and this has been the subject of several puns. "Why did the pelican refuse to pay for his meal? His bill was too big" was printed in 1958…
“Why wouldn’t the Statue of Liberty work in France?”/“Because she has only one arm raised.”
The French have been the subject of many jokes about military surrender and have even been called "cheese-eating surrender monkeys." The French gave New York City the Statue of Liberty,…
“Dieting is easy. It’s like riding a bike. And the bike is on fire…”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterJustin Cas@Justin_Cas_Dieting is easy. It's just like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire. And you're on fire. And you're in hell.6:02 PM -…
“Men at 20 play football, at 30 play tennis, at 40 play golf…” (joke)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterTiffany Mason@dttpaixoxomen in their 20s play football, 30's they play tennis, 40's they play golf, proven: when men get older their balls get smaller!…
Marxette (female Marxist)
"Marxette" is an infrequently used term meaning a female Marxist. "Marxette-in-Chief VALERIE JARRETT Reportedly Gave Orders 9/11/12, Blocked Benghazi Rescue" was posted on the…
“I love my boss (I’m self-employed)”
"I love my boss. I love my job. I'm self-employed" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The bumper sticker saying has been cited in print since at least 1993.…
“A good man can make you feel sexy…oh sorry, that’s wine. Wine does that”
"A good man can make you feel ,sexy, strong and able to take on the world...oh sorry, that's wine. Wine does that" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many ecards.…
“I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road…”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is an old joke from the 19th century. "I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having…
“What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?”/“Synonym rolls.”
"Cinnamon rolls" have been jokingly referred to as "synonym rolls" since at least the 1990s. "Made some synonym rolls" was a popular tweet on July 9, 2014. "What…
“What do you catch if you go fishing with gummy worms?”/“Swedish Fish.”
An obvious gummi candy riddle is: Q: What do you catch if you go fishing with gummy worms?A: Swedish Fish. "How do you catch swedish fish? With gummy worms!" was posted on Twitter on…
“My job is so top secret even I don’t know what I’m doing”
"My job is so top secret even I don't know what I'm doing" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many T-shirts and coffee mugs. The saying has been popular both…
“A pub is for life, not just for Christmas”
"A pub is for life, not just for Christmas" is a saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. The saying became popular in United Kingdom pubs from at least 2003, promoting year-round…
“You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol”
"You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There is no rhyme, of course, but it's the weekend and the speaker no longer…
“What four days start with the letter ‘T’?” (riddle)
A riddle about the days is: Q: What four days start with the letter "T"?A: Tuesday, Thursday, today and tomorrow. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2002. Google BooksDude,…
Midnight Regulation
Entry in progress -- B.P. American Action ForumDecember 2, 2016Lame Duck Regulatory Agenda Projects $44 Billion In Midnight CostsSam BatkinsHere are the final pieces to President Obama’s…
“A joke walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A meta-joke version is: "A joke walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'Woah!…
Candy Cane Lane
"Candy Cane Lane" is any street or scene that is decorated with candy canes. The name is popular at Christmas time. "Candy Cane Lane" has been cited n print since at least 1939…