“About all you can do is dream of a white Christmas; it leaves most of us in the red”
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" is a famous line in Irving Berlin's classic Christmas song, "White Christmas" (1942). A "white Christmas" joke was cited…
“A man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus”
New York-based syndicated entertainment columnist Earl Wilson (1907-1987) wrote in November 1964: "WISH I'D SAID THAT: A man goes through three Santa Claus stages. First he believes in…
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard”
"If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard" is a romantic winter saying that has been printed on many images. "If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you an…
“They say never go food shopping when you’re hungry, but it’s been over a week”
"Never go shopping when you're hungry" is a common saying. A humorous variation was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 6, 2016: "They say never go food shopping when…
“A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise”
"A clear rejection is always better than a fake promise" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "A clear rejection is better than a fake promise" was posted on…
Winterval (winter+ festival)
"Winterval" (winter + festival) was coined in 1997 by Mike Chubb, the Birmingham (UK) city council's head of events, as the name of a winter festival around the time of Christmas and…
Winterval (winter + festival)
"Winterval" (winter + festival) was coined in 1997 by Mike Chubb, the Birmingham (UK) city council's head of events, as the name of a winter festival around the time of Christmas and…
“To brie or not to brie” (cheese pun)
"To be or not to be" is the famous opening phrase of Prince Hamlet's soliloquy in William Shakespeare's play Hamlet. "To brie or not to brie" is a jocular cheese…
“Snowflakes are kisses from heaven”
"Snowflakes are kisses from heaven is a saying of unknown authorship that has been printed on many images. "Snowflakes, like little white kisses from heaven" was cited in the Chicago…
Department of Homeland Surveillance (Department of Homeland Security or DHS nickname)
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was created following the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, on New York City and Washington, DC. The DHS nickname of "Department of Homeland…
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day”
American stand-up comedian Phyllis Diller said: "What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day." It's not known when Diller first said this,…
“A Christmas shopper’s complaint is one of long-standing”
"A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. 15 February 1877, The Daily American (Nashville, TN), pg. 3, col.…
Department of Homeland Sabotage (Department of Homeland Security or DHS nickname)
The U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) was created following the terror attacks of September 11, 2001, on New York City and Washington, DC. The DHS nickname of "Department of Homeland…
“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Keepinspiring.meNovember 29, 201699 Funny Christmas Quotes To Keep You Laughing Until The New Yearby Hannah Hutyra(...)What I like about Christmas is that you can make…
“Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log”
American comedian and television host Ellen DeGenered said; "Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log." It's uncertain when DeGeneres first said this popular holiday quote, but it…
“What’s the best present for a musician?”/“A broken drum. You can’t beat it.”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterClarion Associates@ClarionInsWhat is the best Christmas present a musician could ever receive? "A broken drum. You can't beat it!"…
“There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works”
American computer scientist and Yale University professor Alan Perlis (1922-1990) wrote "Epigrams on Programming" for ACM's SIGNPLAN (September 1982). One popular epigram is:…
“Some fairy tales begin, ‘If i’m elected’”
“All fairy tales don’t start out, ‘Once upon a time.’ Many begin, ‘If I’m elected,'" is a political saying that has been cited in print since at least 1969. The origin is…
“Pavlov walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov (1849=1936) is: "Pavlov walks…
“Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?”/“They always travel in disguise.”
"Disguise" can sound like "de skies" (the skies). A pun is: Q: Why is it so hard to recognize a pilot?A: They always travel in disguise. The joke was posted on Reddit --…