“I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I’m a cereal killer now”
"I stepped on a cornflake this morning. I'm a cereal killer now" -- a pun on "serial killer" -- is a joke that has been printed on many images. "Oh. My. God. I stepped…
“What do you call a bunch of bad chemistry students?”/“Molasses.”
Various chemistry jokes have "molasses" (mole + asses) in the punchlines. "Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see? A: A mole of molasses" has…
“I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix. Anybody got a punch line?”
A joke about Kool-Aid (or another fruit-flavored powdered drink mix) is: " I have an addiction to snorting Kool-Aid (powdered drink mix). Anybody got a punch line?" "I'm so…
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor”
American comedian Phyllis Diller is credited with a popular Thanksgiving line: “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” The Japanese military attack…
“Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey—until Thanksgiving”
"Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey -- until Thanksgiving" is a saying that has been printed on many images, usually credited to American magazine reporter Mike Connolly…
“What do you call cheese that is sad?”/“Bleu cheese.”
Does bleu cheese get the blues? A bleu cheese riddle is: Q: What do you call cheese that is sad?A: Bleu cheese. The cheesy joke has been cited in print since at least 2004. Civilization Fanatics…
“Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He’s 0K now”
A science joke about the Kelvin scale has been printed on several images: "Did you hear about the guy who cooled himself to absolute zero? He's 0K now." The joke was first posted on…
“What do you call a bunch of bad chemistry students?”/“Molasses.”
Various chemistry jokes have "molasses" (mole + asses) in the punchlines. "Q: If a mole of moles were digging a mole of holes, what would you see? A: A mole of molasses" has…
“Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker”
The website Pun of the Day posted this pun by Rick Kelso (of Kansas) on September 14, 2016: "Now that they allow us to wear jeans at the office everyday, I am no longer a slacker." The…
“I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials”
"I hate people who take drugs. Like cops, DEA agents and customs officials" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many T-shirts. "'I hate people who take drugs - people…
“Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton”
A "wonton" dumpling sounds like "one ton," and there's a pun: "Every time I eat Chinese I feel like I weigh won ton." The jocular one-line saying was posted on…
“How much does a dumpling weigh?”/“Wonton.”
A “wonton” dumpling sounds like “one ton,” and there’s a riddle: Q: How much does a dumpling weigh?A: Won-ton. "How much does a cubic meter of oriental soup weigh? (...) It weighs…
“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants”
"Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants," American actor Kevin James joked. The quotation has been printed on many images and has been included in many Thanksgiving quotation…
“What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?”/“Breakfast or lunch.”
A Thanksgiving dinner riddle is: Q: What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?A: Breakfast or lunch. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1997. “What are the two things you…
“What vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?”/“Beets me.”
A riddle/joke about vegetables at Thanksgiving dinner is: Q: What kind of vegetables would you like for Thanksgiving dinner?A: Beets me! The Thanksgiving joke has been cited in print since at least…
Federal Bureau of Political Investigation (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has been perceived by many to have a political agenda to its investigations. "@FBI Name Change Suggestion: FBPIMM - Federal Bureau of Political…
“On Thanksgiving, what’s always in the middle of the table?”/“The letter B.”
A Thanksgiving dinner table riddle is: Q: On Thanksgiving, what's always in the middle of the table?A: The letter "b." The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2009.
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way” (joke)
American comedian Jon Stewart said on The Jon Stewart Show: "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and…
RPG Sandwich (roast pork on garlic bread)
The Chinese roast pork sandwich on garlic bread (sometimes called "RPG" for short) was invented at Herbie's Restaurant in Loch Sheldrake, New York, in the 1950s. The sandwich was…
“What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?”/“Take him out for pizza and ice cream!”
A riddle about stuffing a turkey is: Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?A: Take him out for pizza and ice cream! The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2001. Google…