“Not sure if I’m raw vegan or too lazy to cook”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterErica Pablo@ericapabloEveryone, including me, is too lazy to cook today. I'm a reluctant raw vegan at the moment.9:37 PM - 20 Mar 2012 Twitter…
“I posed naked for a men’s fitness magazine. The cashier would have preferred I’d just paid for it”
A fitness magazine joke was posted on Twitter by Jonny Cooper on September 5, 2013: "Last week I posed naked for a men's fitness magazine. I think the cashier would have preferred…
“A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a bag of marijuana. He wanted to open a joint account”
A joke about a "joint" bank account has been cited in print since at least 2009: "A Rastafarian walks into a bank with a huge bag of dagga wanting to open a joint account."…
Triple H (hazy, hot and humid)
"Triple H" weather is hazy, hot and humid. "It's one of those Triple H (Hazy, Hot and Humid) mornings that we've been having lately" was printed in the New York (NY)…
Not A Space Agency (NASA nickname)
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has produced so much disinformation, in some critics' opinions, that it has been given the backronym (back acronym) of "Not A…
“They all laughed when I wore one puff pastry boot. But now the choux’s on the other foot”
Choux pastry has had many "choux is on the other foot" puns. "Accidentally stepped on a chocolate eclair someone had dropped. The cream squirted onto my left trainer and the choux…
“Somebody should market a beer called ‘Occasionally’ so I can say, ‘I only drink occasionally’”
"They need to make a beer called 'Occasionally', so when I tell people that I only drink occasionally, they wont judge me" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on August 24,…
“Why was the student’s report card wet?”/“Because his grades were below C-level.”
A report card riddle is: Q: Why was the student's report card wet?A: Because his grades were below C level. The "C level" (sea level) joke was printed in several newspapers in 1973.…
“May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on social media”
"May your life (someday) be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/social media" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "May your life someday be as…
“If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster”
Can cooking alphabet soup spell trouble? "If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster. (Pun of the Day)" was posted on the newsgroup Google Groups:…
American Criminal Lovers Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
“I’m traveling to Greenwich tomorrow. I’m not sure what to do in the Mean Time”
There have been several puns about Greenwich Mean Time. "Ok, so you go to the market in Greenwich then watch meteors in the park. What do you do in the MeanTime" was posted on Twitter on…
Anti-Christian Liberals Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
“Just got a job as senior director at Old MacDonald’s Farm. I’m the CIEIO”
The "EIEIO" in the song "Old MacDonald's Farm" shouldn't be confused with the position of "CEO," but there are jokes. "@TheFagCasanova: Old…
Anti-Christian Litigation Unit (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
Anti-Christian Lawsuit Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
Anti-Christian Litigation Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
American Communist Lovers Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…
“The worst thing about running the Chinese Marathon? Hitting the Wall”
Marathon runners often suffer from fatigue and hit "the wall," but it's usually not the Great Wall of China. "I'v just got home after taking part in the Chinese Marathon.…
Anti-Christian Lawyers Union (American Civil Liberties Union nickname)
The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) was founded in 1920, with the mission "to defend and preserve the individual rights and liberties guaranteed to every person in this country by the…