“Where do fishes work?”/“In the of-fish.”
The word "office" becomes "of-fish" in several fish puns. "Where do fishes work? In the of-fish" was posted on Twitter on March 15, 2015. "Where does a shark…
“Coffee with soy milk is just bean water mixed with bean water”
“Coffee is really just hot bean water” is a coffee saying. Many people drink coffee with soy milk. "As chris pointed out, coffee with soy milk = bean water on bean water. mmmm" was…
“Monday plan: Drink coffee, Be awesome, Ignore negativity”
"Today's plan? Drink coffee and be awesome" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Battle plan for this week: wake up, drink coffee, be awesome, repeat"…
“May your life someday be as awesome as you pretend it is on Twitter”
"May your life (someday) be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook/Instagram/Twitter/social media" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "May your life someday be as…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
“Who fixes time machines?”/“A quantum mechanic.”
"Quantum mechanics" shouldn't be confused with "auto mechanics," but there are jokes. "There is a hoary old joke: What do you call a physicist who works on quantum…
“Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?”/“To go with the traffic jam.”
A "traffic jam" isn't made of jam, but there's a riddle: Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?A: To go with the traffic jam. The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
Linguinistics (linguine + linguistics)
"Linguine" (a type of pasta) is sometimes confused with "linguistics" (the scientific study of language), especially with the portmanteau word "linguinistics."…
“Summer means about three months of no school shootings”
Summer is known as a time when there is no school...shootings? "What does it say about our society that what kids like most about summer is 3 months without school shootings?…
“Morning traffic is like waiting in line to go to work”
People often get stuck in traffic on the way to work. "Traffic is depressing. It's just waiting in line to go to work" was posted on Twitter by Jebb Sinclair on September 7, 2013.…
“Where does a shark work?”/“In the of-fish.”
The word "office" becomes "of-fish" in several fish puns. "Where do fishes work? In the of-fish" was posted on Twitter on March 15, 2015. "Where does a shark…
“I failed my drug test today. There goes my degree in pharmaceutics!”
Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…
“Goals that are not written down are just wishes”
"Goals that are not written down are just wishes" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Goals that are not written down are only wishes" has been cited…
Po’ Boy or Poor Boy (sandwich)
The "poor boy" ("po' boy") sandwich began in New Orleans, about 1929, when it was popularized (or coined) by Benny and Clovis Martin. It's another regional sandwich…
“I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever get my pharmacy degree”
Drug tests are often given at work, but sometimes a different kind of drug test is given at school. "I failed my drug test again. Sometimes I wonder if I'll EVER get my pharmacy…
“Goals that are not written down are just dreams”
"Goals that are not written down are just wishes" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Goals that are not written down are only wishes" has been cited…
“Pakistanis can’t play soccer well because every time they get a corner, they open a shop”
People from Pakistan and India (and other nationalities) have reputations for opening businesses, but not being very good at soccer. A riddle is: Q: Why doesn't Pakistan have an international…
“If you found $5 in every pocket of your coat, what would you have?”/“Someone else’s coat.”
This math joke was printed in 1936: Teacher: If you had fifty cents in your right hand pocket, and seventy-five cents in your left hand pocket, what would you have?Student: I'd have on…
“Why did the jellybean go to school?”/“He wanted to be a Smartie.”
A popular riddle about Smarties candy has been cited in print since at least 1997: Q: Why did the jellybean go to school?A: He wanted to be a Smartie. An M&M version has been cited in print…