“Flatulence is exhausting”
"DR.Oz says out flatulence is really our exhaust.Therefore I guess we don't really fart..We Backfire" was posted on Twitter on June 3, 2011. "Excessive flatulence is…
“You can’t fix stupid. Not even with duct tape”
"You can't fix stupid" is a saying of American stand-up comedian Ron White. "Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound" is a jocular saying that has…
“Even duct tape can’t fix stupid”
"You can't fix stupid" is a saying of American stand-up comedian Ron White. "Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound" is a jocular saying that has…
“Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? They were river dancing”
The show Riverdancing doesn't involve Irish dancing in a river, but there are jokes. "Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? They were riverdancing" was posted on…
“Fish make excellent brain food, probably because they travel in schools”
"It is said that fish is an excellent brain food. It is probably because they travel in schools" is a pun that was printed in the Philipsburg (MT) Mail on August 10, 1893. "Fish make…
“Where does Russian milk come from?”/“Moscows.”
A milk riddle has been cited in print since at least 2004: Q: Where do Russians get their milk?A: From Mos-cows. A different wording to the riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 1,…
“An empty fortune cookie is very unfortunate”
A Chinese fortune cookie usually has a fortune in it. However, it's not unusual for one cookie to have two fortunes, or for a cookie to have no fortune in it at all. Some people worry that a…
“What time is it when you sit on a tack?”/“Spring time.”
A time riddle is: Q: What time is is when you sit on a tack?A: Spring time. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. “What time is it when you sit on a pin?"/"Spring…
“Where do Russians get their milk?”/“From Mos-cows.”
A milk riddle has been cited in print since at least 2004: Q: Where do Russians get their milk?A: From Mos-cows. A different wording to the riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on September 1,…
“Why did the atheist cross the road?”/“He thought there might be a street on the other side…”
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"/"To get to the other side" is a classic riddle from the 19th century. An atheist version is: Q: Why didn't the atheist cross the…
“Confidence is the key. If you don’t believe in yourself, then nobody will”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterQuotes ❤️@wordstionaryConfidence is the key. If you don't believe in yourself, then nobody will.12:43 AM - 23 Jun 2018
“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterQuotes ❤️@wordstionaryNever give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.11:44 PM - 22 Jun 2018
“Why aren’t there more songs about being hungry?”
There have been many songs about love, but what about food? "I think falling in/being in/falling out of love has been pretty well documented. Why aren't there more songs about being…
“Where did the clock finish the race?”/“Wherever it wound up.”
A clock riddle has been cited in print since at least 2014: Q: Where did the clock finish the race?A: Wherever it wound up. A stopwatch version was posted on Twitter by the Edinburgh Festival…
“Where did the stopwatch finish the race?”/“Wherever it wound up.”
A clock riddle has been cited in print since at least 2014: Q: Where did the clock finish the race?A: Wherever it wound up. A stopwatch version was posted on Twitter by the Edinburgh Festival…
“Why did the farmer plow his field with a steamroller?”/“He wanted mashed potatoes.”
A mashed potatoes riddle is: Q: Why did the farmer plow his field with a steamroller?A: He wanted mashed potatoes. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. Google BooksJokes, Puns, and…
“Don’t give up on things that make you smile”
"Don't/Never give up on (the) things that make you smile" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Never give up on things that make you smile" was…
“Why are fish so smart?”/“Because they travel in schools.”
"It is said that fish is an excellent brain food. It is probably because they travel in schools" is a pun that was printed in the Philipsburg (MT) Mail on August 10, 1893. "Fish make…
“Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound”
"You can't fix stupid" is a saying of American stand-up comedian Ron White. "Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound" is a jocular saying that has…
“If you found $5 in every pocket of your coat, what would you have?”/“Someone else’s coat.”
This math joke was printed in 1936: Teacher: If you had fifty cents in your right hand pocket, and seventy-five cents in your left hand pocket, what would you have?Student: I'd have on…