“My life sucks, but I’m not in Times Square wearing a diaper”
Many people who attend the New Year's Eve ball drop in New York City's Times Square have to wear a diaper because there is no place to go to the bathroom.. "I can promise I…
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“Are you https? Cause I’m :/ without you”
"http://" and "https://" start many internet addresses. "HTTP" is Hypertext Transfer Protocol and "HTTPS" is "Hypertext Transfer Protocol Secure."…
“I’ve officially reached the age where I consider running errands as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“That funny little moment when you toss a bay leaf into the pot, pretending to know what it actually does”
People often put a bay leaf in a pot of something that they're cooking. They're often not sure what the bay leaf does, but it feels like magic. Or maybe it doesn't do much of…
“I just want some cheese and quiet”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“I just want some cheese & quiet”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“All I want is some cheese and quiet”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“Coworker: What do you want for Christmas? Me: Just some cheese and quiet. Coworker: Don’t you mean peace and quiet? Me: No.”
"I just want some cheese and quiet" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is just a cheese lover's joke on the phrase "peace and quiet." "Cheese…
“Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless”
"Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless" was posted on Bluesky by Marc on January 9, 2025. and on X/Twitter by Julio, Marc's…
“My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones”
A jocular "diet plan" was posted on X/Twitter by MELapalooza 🐈⚽️🎶🍾 on August 10, 2025: "My diet plan is sometimes when im eating chips I drop some on the floor and I…
“My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting on the floor”
A doctor's instruction to "lower carbs" means to lower carbohydrate intake. but a joke misunderstands this. "My doctor told me to lower my carbs. So now I eat my chips sitting…
“Plasterers must be heavy good at butterin their toast man”
"If you can butter toast you can plaster a wall..." was posted on Facebook by Learn To Plaster on August 21, 2021. "Plasterers must be heavy good at butterin their toast man"…
“Plasterers must be really good at buttering their toast”
"If you can butter toast you can plaster a wall..." was posted on Facebook by Learn To Plaster on August 21, 2021. "Plasterers must be heavy good at butterin their toast man"…
“I got hired at the thermometer factory. It’s just a temp job”
"Temp" work means "temporary" work. "Temp" has nothing to do with taking "temperature," but there are jokes. "I thought I'd finally got my dream…
“I got hired at the thermometer factory. It’s just temp work”
"Temp" work means "temporary" work. "Temp" has nothing to do with taking "temperature," but there are jokes. "I thought I'd finally got my dream…
Big Apples Fest (fall festival sponsored by Hudson Valley Renegades baseball team, 2025-present)
The Hudson Valley Renegades, a Minor League Baseball team High-A affiliate of the New York Yankees, based in Fishkill, New York. In November 2024, the Renegades announced that the team would be…
Big Apple Bank (Futurama episode, 1999)
"Big Apple Bank," in the city of New New York in the year 2999, appeared in "A Fishful of Dollars," an episode of the animated science fiction sitcom Futurama that originally…
“If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in”
If you're late for work, don't walk in with a smile on your face. Look angry or mad, as if the traffic, or a delayed bus or train, or something else held you back from that wonderful work…
“When you’re late for work, just walk in fast and fake mad. ‘Whatta fucking morning’”
If you're late for work, don't walk in with a smile on your face. Look angry or mad, as if the traffic, or a delayed bus or train, or something else held you back from that wonderful work…
“When you are late for work, just walk in fast into the office and say ‘wow, just help me thank God I am alive today’”
If you're late for work, don't walk in with a smile on your face. Look angry or mad, as if the traffic, or a delayed bus or train, or something else held you back from that wonderful work…