“What do you call a rich elf?”/“Welfy.”
An elf riddle is: Q: What do you call a rich elf?A: Welfy (wealthy). The riddle has been cited in print since at least 2003. 14 December 2003, Green Bay (WI) Press-Gazette, "Sites of the…
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“How does a flat earther travel the world?”/“On a plane.”
A flat earth riddle is: Q: How does a flat earther travel the world?A: On a plane (plain). The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on November 30, 2017. Reddit -- JokesHow does a Flat Earther travel…
“When I accidentally bought the wrong type of bread, my day had gone a rye”
"A rye" is a frequent homophone for "awry." "My bread baking business has gone a rye" was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2011. A pun was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners…
True York City (true + New York City)
"True York City" (true + New York City) is a name from the marketing campaign of NYC & Company that began in November 2017. The logo "Famous Original New York City" features…
“How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some headphones in your pocket 2) wait one minute”
Headphones often become tangled. A joke was posted on Twitter by "sweaty five dollars" on April 7, 2013: "How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some headphones in your pocket…
“My parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called ‘Identity Theft’”
Parents often tell their children that they can become anyone they want to be. This is not meant to be taken literally. "As a young child my mum told me I could be anybody I wanted to be.…
“I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen”
Bananas go bad very quickly. "I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several…
“My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!”
A joke on the name of "badminton" has been cited in print since at least 2000: "My new dog, Minton, just ate all my shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!" The joke has been printed on…
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life”
"I work hard so my dog can have a better life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Working hard so my dog can have a better life!" was posted on Twitter…
“I actually have a lot of jokes about potatoes, I just don’t know where to starch”
Potatoes contain starch. "I would tell a joke about potatoes, but i don't know where to starch!" -- a pun on "where to start" -- was posted on Twitter by PUNS on October…
“Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?”/“Because it soots him.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?A: Because it soots (suits) him. The Christmas pun has been cited in print since at least December 1894. Google…
“What do elves do after school?”/“Gnomework.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What do elves do after school?A: Gnomework. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1984. Google BooksThe Zaniest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph Rosenbloom…
“Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch” (joke)
Do birds feel nervous when people eat eggs? "Every time a bird poops/shits on my car, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch, just to show them what I'm capable of" is a…
“Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?”/“Because he went down in History.”
A riddle about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is: Q: Why didn't Rudolph get a good report card?A: Because he went down in History. The joke is based on the last lyrics to the "Rudolph the…
“What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?”/“Looks like rain, dear.”
"Reindeer" sounds like "rain, dear." ""Santa Claus is welcome but I do not want to see the rain dear" was printed in an 1888 newspaper. "Why does Santa Claus…
“How do you scare a snowman?”/“You get a hairdryer!”
A snowman riddle is: Q: How do you scare a snowman?A: You get a hairdryer! The joke was posted on Twitter on November 9, 2011. TwitterHannah @HannahTweetsWWE.. How do you scare a snowman? You…
“What do Santa’s elves learn at school?”/“The elfabet.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: What do Santa's elves learn at school?A: The elfabet. The "elfabet" (elf + alphabet) pun was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on November 26, 1999. The…
Fake Bureau of Investigation (Federal Bureau of Investigation or FBI nickname)
The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has been perceived by many to have a political agenda to its investigations. The FBI has been called the "Fake Bureau of Investigation" by those…
“A bad football team is like an old bra—no cups and very little support”
A popular quotation about soccer (football) is: "A bad football team is like an old bra -- no cups and very little support." The sports saying has been cited in print since at least 1998…
“What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?”/“Get out of my face.”
A snowman often has a carrot for a nose. A riddle is: Q: What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?A: "Get out of my face." The riddle was posted on Twitter on October 13, 2014.…