“Where does seaweed go to look for a job?”/“The Kelp Wanted section.”
Many newspapers have a "help wanted" section. Kelp isn't that wanted, but there's a riddle: Q: Where does seaweed go to look for a job?A: The "Kelp Wanted" section of…
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“Upkeep of most Chinese restaurants is Lo Meintenance”
The Chinese dish of "lo mein" has spawned some "lo meintenance" (lo mein + low maintenance) puns. " Lo Meintenance" was posted on the newsgroup…
“Waiters bring a lot to the table”
The expression "bring to the table" means what assets one has to offer, but a pun often involves waiters/waitresses at a restaurant. "Waitresses are good at negotiations, they bring…
“Why did Santa’s little helpers sit outside the restaurant?”/“They wanted to eat elfresco.”
A Christmas riddle is: Q: Why did Santa's little helpers choose the outside table?A: They wanted to eat elfresco. "Elfresco" (elf + al fresco) is a portmanteau word. The riddle was…
“Snow is like a man” or “Snow is like sex” or “Sex is like snow” (joke)
"Snow is like a man" or "Snow is like sex" or "Sex is like snow" or "Sex is like a snowstorm" is the start of an old joke that has been printed on many…
“Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear”
"Tetris taught me that when you try to fit in, you’ll disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on many images. "Tetris taught me that,…
“This is a terrible spell of wheather”
A "terrible spell of weather" doesn't usually involve spelling the word "weather," but there have been puns. "This is a terrible spell of wheather" was posted on…
“Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?”/“In a ho-ho-hotel.”
A Santa Claus riddle for Christmas is: Q: Where does Santa stay when he is on holiday?A: In a ho-ho-hotel. The "ho-ho-tel" joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in December 1983.…
“Ahmed walks into Abbar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke version with Islamic names is: "Ahmed walks into Abbar..."…
“If you’re having trouble understanding fractions, don’t worry, our helpline is open 24/7”
"The Improper Fractions Helpline is now open 24/7" is a math joke that has been printed on coffee mugs. "My top-heavy fractions helpline is now open 24/7" was posted on Twitter…
“I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail”
"Hurts like hail" sounds like "hurts like hell." "Frozen rain, when it hits you, hurts like hail" was published in a 1987 newspaper. "I don't know if I just…
“Employee of the Month is a good example of how a person can be a winner & loser at the same time”
"Employee of the Month is a good example of how a person can be a winner and a loser at the same time" is a jocular one-line work saying that has been printed on many images. New…
“What do you drain your Brussels sprouts with at Christmas?”/“An Advent colander.”
An Advent calendar shouldn't be written as an Advent "colander," but there have been several puns. "Each day the little Cratchits would peer through a different hole in the…
“What’s white and goes up?”/“A confused snowflake.”
A winter riddle is: Q: What's white and goes up?A: A confused snowflake. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1977. 11 January 1977, Los Angeles (CA) Times, You sec., pg. 2, col.…
“A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An anti-joke version is: "A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. Legally,…
“If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear”
"If Tetris has taught me anything, it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear" is a saying about the tile-matching puzzle video game that has been printed on several images.…
“What did the grape say to the peanut butter?”/“‘Tis the season to be jelly.”
The Christmas carol "Deck the Halls: has the lyric, "'Tis the season to be jolly." A riddle was cited in print in 1978: Q: What did one grape say to the other grape?A: 'Tis…
“What do you get from a cowmedian?”/“Cream of Wit!”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do you get from a cowmedian?A: Cream of wit. A "cowmedian" is a "cow-comedian." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Wikipedia: Cream…
“What do cows eat for breakfast?”/“Moosli.”
A cow riddle is: Q: What do cows eat for breakfast?A: Moosli." The "moosli" joke (moo + muesli) has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: MuesliMuesli (/ˈmjuːzli/ or…
“Did Rudolph go to a regular school?”/“No, he was elf taught.”
A Christmas riddle about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is: Q: Did Rudolph go to a regular school?A: No, he was elf taught. "Question: Did Rudolph go to a regular school?: Answer: No. He was…