“Don’t treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are”
"Don't treat people as bad as they are, treat them as good as you are" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is similar to the "golden rule."…
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“Love deeply, eat well, laugh always, work hard, travel often”
"Eat well, travel often" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'Eat well. Travel Often.' via Ian Coyle from Superheroes, Inc at the September DSVC Lecture.…
“Eat well, work hard, love truly, travel often”
"Eat well, travel often" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'Eat well. Travel Often.' via Ian Coyle from Superheroes, Inc at the September DSVC Lecture.…
“If you want to lose weight, just fall in love with the wrong person”
"If you want to lose weight, you don't need to exercise or diet. Just fall in love with the wrong person" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "If you want to…
“Chewing gum is like a stress ball for your mouth”
Chewing gum has been compared to a stress ball. "Bubble Gum is like a stress ball for the brain" was posted on Twitter on July 9, 2009. "Chewing gum is like a stress ball for your…
“What do you do with an elephant with three balls?”/“Walk him and pitch to the giraffe.”
An elephant riddle is: Q: What do you do with an elephant with three balls?A: Walk him and pitch to the giraffe. The surprise answer reveals that this is a baseball joke. The joke has been cited in…
“Heal the past, live the present, dream the future”
"Heal the past, live the present, dream the future" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at least 1995. American graphic artist and…
“I beat a black belt at karate. My next opponent is a green sock”
To face "a black belt at karate" usually means facing "a person with a black belt," but a joke is: "I beat a black belt at karate. My next opponent is a green sock."…
“Eat well, travel often”
"Eat well, travel often" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'Eat well. Travel Often.' via Ian Coyle from Superheroes, Inc at the September DSVC Lecture.…
“I’ve always wanted to spend money lavishly, but I never thought it would be on sugar, milk, bread”
The high price of groceries is reflected in this joke in "The Girls," a syndicated newspaper comic strip by Franklin Folger that was printed on December 23, 1974: (Two women talking,…
“I’ll control my guns. You control your kids”
"I'll control my guns. You control your kids" is a pro-Second Amendment saying that has been printed on many images. "Seen a sign today that said 'You control your kids,…
“Eat well, work hard, travel often, stay humble”
"Eat well, travel often" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "'Eat well. Travel Often.' via Ian Coyle from Superheroes, Inc at the September DSVC Lecture.…
“By law, you are required to turn on your headlights if it’s raining in Sweden” (joke)
Sometimes there is a local law requiring that a car's headlights be turned on when it's raining. A joke about this was posted on Twitter by Roy Beale on March 7, 2015: "By law, you…
“Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth”
"Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool" is a collection of four sayings printed on many images. "Maybe…
“I see the price of Oxo cubes has shot up again. The stock market’s gone crazy”
The Oxo company manufactures beef stock cubes, among other products. There have been several Oxo puns mentioning the "stock" market. "Retweeting @andrewsayer: I see the price of Oxo…
“What do you get from a drunk chicken?”/“Scotch eggs.”
"Scotch eggs" don't contain Scotch whisky, but there's a riddle: Q: What do you get from a drunk chicken?A: Scotch eggs. The Scotch eggs joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“All mushrooms are edible, but some mushrooms are only edible once”
"All mushrooms are edible, some only once" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "All mushrooms are edible. Of course there are some you'll…
“What do you call Dracula with hay fever?”/“The pollen Count.”
The pollen count has nothing to do with Count Dracula, but there have been jokes. "Pollen Count Dracula" was posted on Twitter on March 5, 2011. "The pollen count is Dracula!…
“Who do Texan Muslims worship?”/“Y’allah.” (y’all + Allah)
"Y'allah" is a portmanteau word of 'y'all" ("you all") and "Allah" (the Arabic word for "God"). "In N.Texas there are schools that…
“What is a feminist’s favorite fruit?”/“Mango.”
"Mango" (a fruit) sounds like "man go." "'M is for mango.' 'The feminists favourite'" was published in a 2005 book. A riddle was posted on Twitter…