“Why did the coffee get in trouble?”/“Because it was not tea.”
"Naughty" sounds like "not tea." A coffee riddle is: Q: Why did the coffee get in trouble?A: Because it was not tea (naughty). "Why did coffee get into trouble? Cause it…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 41292
“A picture is worth a thousand words, but it will take longer to download”
"A picture is worth a thousand words" is an old proverb. In the early days of the internet, pictures were difficult to download. "A picture is worth 1000 words, but it takes much…
“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step”
"Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?”/“Tell her a joke on Friday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?”/“Tell her a joke on Wednesday.”
A popular "dumb blonde" joke demonstrates how long it takes a blonde to process a joke. The St. Louis (MO) Post-Dispatch, on August 14, 1991, had this as just a day: Q: How do you make a…
“Saturday—the day kids jump out of bed at 6am”
"Saturday. The day kids jump out of bed at 6am with all of the energy they claimed they didn't have all week long" is a jocular saying that has been printed on ecards. "Why is…
“Yo mama is so ugly, the NHL banned her for life”
A popular "yo mama" insult "ugly joke" is: "Yo mama is so ugly, the NHL banned her for life." The joke is that the NHL (National Hockey League) has had some ugly…
“I always get pickle and chutney mixed up. It makes me chuckle”
If you combine pickle and chutney, do you get the portmanteau word "chuckle"? "Morrison's dilemma of the Day: What's the difference between chutney and pickle? And if you…
“If ‘shat’ is the past tense of ‘shit’, then ‘fat’ must be the past tense of ‘fit’”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterMonica Holton@Moni2332I still think the past tense of "Fit" should be "Fat" just like "Shit" and "Shat"...12:40 PM - 24 Jul…
“The faster I type in my password, the more secret agenty I feel”
"The faster I type in my password, the more secret agenty I feel" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on October 15, 2011.…
“I stumbled across a website for clumsy people”
"They should make a social media website for clumsy people named Stumblr" was posted on Twitter on February 4, 2012. "A website for clumsy people: stumblr" was posted on Twitter…
“If ‘sat’ is the past tense of the word ‘sit’, then the past tense of ‘fit’ should be ‘fat’”
The past tense of "fit" is not "fat," but there are jokes. Often "sit" and "sat" are compared. "And is 'fat' the past tense of…
“I can’t see an end, I have no control… Time for a new keyboard”
"I can’t see an end. I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape - I don’t even have a home anymore. Time for a new keyboard" is a computer keyboard joke that was…
“My boss said he’ll fire the employee with the worst posture. I’ve got a hunch it might be me”
An employment joke was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on September 14, 2010: "My boss said he's going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I've got a hunch it might be…
“Tofu is really kung fu for toes”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“When the interviewer asked me to describe myself in three words, I replied, ‘Efficient’”
"If I had to describe myself in three words they would be: Efficient" was posted on Twitter on July 6, 2013. "Interviewer: Describe yourself in three words. Interviewee:…
“What do you call a vegan fighting style?”/“Tofu.”
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“A group for cyclists who ignore red lights: ‘Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals’”
"I'm setting up a help group for bike riders who ignore red lights. Please Feel free to join Cyclists Unable to Notice Traffic Signals #CUNTS" is an anti-cyclist joke that was posted…
Kung Fu Tofu (Kung Pao tofu + kung fu)
"Tofu" (a food) is very different from "kung fu" (a Chinese martial art), but there have been jokes -- especially involving toes. "What is tofu made of? My guess, toes and…
“What do tired line dancers do?”/“They line down.”
A line dancer riddle is: Q: What do tired line dancers do?A: They line down. The line dancer joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. funnyjoke.com.auCategory: Dance jokesDate Added:…