“I have 2 milestones at work: 1. Lunch 2. Leaving”
"I have two milestones at work: 1. Lunch 2. Leaving" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Obviously, not everyone enjoys work. "I have two milestones at work:1.…
“I have a five year plan to become more spontaneous”
Many people make plans to be more spontaneous, but do they make long term plans? "I have a five year plan to become more spontaneous" was posted on Twitter by Daveastated on August 27,…
“I have a hard time finishing what I sta—”
Some people have a hard time finishing what they start. "Sometimes I have a hard time finishing what I sta" was posted on Twitter by OnWave on July 25, 2010. "I HAVE A HARD TIME…
“I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work”
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "I thought up a lot of jokes about unemployed people,…
“I have a pen that can write underwater! It can also write other words, too”
"I've got a pen that can write underwater. And lots of other words" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Miles Watts on September 19, 2014. "I just got a pen that can write…
“I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something. you’re still getting something impressive”
"I have a pretty big ass/butt, so when I half ass something. you're still getting something impressive" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Something…
“I have a pretty big butt, so when I half ass something you’re still getting something impressive”
"I have a pretty big ass/butt, so when I half ass something. you're still getting something impressive" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Something…
“I have added ‘extensive experience in dealing with stupid people’ to my resume”
"I've decided to add 'extensive experience in dealing with stupid people' to my resume. That has got to be a marketable skill" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“I have an inferiority complex, but it’s just not a very good one”
"I have an inferiority complex, but it's (just) not a very good one" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have an inferiority complex, but it is not a…
“I have done terrible things for money, like getting up early to go to work”
"I've done some terrible things for money, like getting up early and going to work" (or "I have done terrible things for money, like getting up early to go to work") is a…
“I have found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes”
"I have found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I have found the key to keeping a positive attitude.…
“I have met my quota for stupid people this year. I am no longer taking applications. Thank you”
"I have met my quota for stupid people this year. I am no longer taking applications. Thank you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on…
“I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I just walk towards the automatic doors…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many store closures. This comment was posted on Twitter by Samuel J Comroe on Julhy 1, 2020: "I have no clue what’s open or closed anymore. I…
“I have the patience of a Saint. Saint Cunty McFuckoff”
"I have the patience of a Saint. Saint Cunty McFuckoff" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Saw some brill tshirts 'I've got the patience of a saint.…
“I have two milestones at work: 1. Lunch 2. Leaving”
"I have two milestones at work: 1. Lunch 2. Leaving" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Obviously, not everyone enjoys work. "I have two milestones at work:1.…
“I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow”
"I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow" is a work saying that has been printed on many images. "haven't even been to…
“I hear the monastery is laying off workers. All nun essential staff are gone”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many workers deemed "non-essential" to stay at home. This has nothing to do with nuns, but there are jokes. "It would be wrong for the Pope…
“I heard a really funny joke at our mandatory meeting at work” (joke)
When another telling of a joke doesn't work, "I guess you had to be there" is what the joke teller often says. "Did you hear the one about the mandatory meeting? I guess you had…
“I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there”
"Moderation in all things" or "Everything in moderation" is an old proverb. A joke was posted on Twitter on October 17, 2013: "I heard there was a new store called…
“I joined a 12-step program for people who talk too much. It’s called On and On Anon”
"'I talk too much,' Evan Davis admitted. 'I've joined a self-help group called On-and-On-Anon. Our meetings go forever'" was printed in the Lansing (MI) State…