“I went to the worst escape room ever. It’s called IKEA”
The IKEA furniture store can be confusing to many people, who have compared it to leaving an escape room. "Me all the time: this IKEA is the worst escape room ever." was posted on Twitter…
“I will be mailing out W-2s on January 2nd for everyone who was in my business this year”
"Sending W-2s out to everyone who's been in my business all year" (or "I will be mailing out W-2s on January 2nd for everyone who was in my business this year") is a…
“I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me”
"I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I care what anyone thinks of me" (or "I will eat a bowl of water with a fork before I give a fuck about your opinion of me") is a…
“I will start working when my coffee does”
"I will start working when my coffee does" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as coffee mugs, posters and T-shirts. "I start working when the coffee…
“I wish 8 hours of sleep went as slow as 8 hours of work”
"I wish 8 hours of sleep went as slow as 8 hours of work (or school)" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The hours of sleep seem to go by quickly, but the hours of work or…
“I wish I’d paid better attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“I wish I’d paid more attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance”
"I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think travel therapy and vacation ought to be covered by health…
“I woke up this morning and realized I don’t have what it takes to sit back and be average”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 15 October 2017, Journal-Gazette (Fort Wayne, IN), "Lead On: Authors shed light as bosses have their day," pg. H2:Here's a few sayings that surfaced on…
“I won’t use someone’s pronouns for the same reason I won’t talk to a schizophrenic’s imaginary friends”
"I won't use someone's pronouns for the same reason I won't talk to a schizophrenic's imaginary friends" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it”
A zebra has stripes; some people have compared this to a barcode. "I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I work as a living statue. It’s a permanent position”
Many job seekers want a "permanent position." A "permanent position" doesn't mean to become a statue, but there are jokes. "Finally managed to get myself a job as a…
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life”
"I work hard so my dog can have a better life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Working hard so my dog can have a better life!" was posted on Twitter…
“I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold”
A joke was submitted to the UK Pun Championships by Colin Chadwick in February 2016: "I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold." The pun is on "twofold,"…
“I worked in an office on a cul-de-sac. It was a dead end job”
A dead end street is sometimes called a cul-de-sac. There are several cul-de-sac jokes relating to a "dead end job." "I used to work in a cul-de-sac but it was dead end job..."…
“I would die for shopping. I’m a Walmartyr”
The portmanteau word "Walmartyr" or 'Wal-Martyr" (Walmart + martyr) has had more than one meaning. Walmart (or Wal-Mart) is a chain of retail stores. The Urban Dictionary…
“I would never survive camping. I’ve already eaten all the snacks I packed for the day…”
Some people brings snacks to work, but eat them all right away. This was posted on Twitter by Ron Iver on June 21, 2022 and received over 17,400 likes: "I would never survive camping.…
“I would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity”
"Someone once told me not to bite off more than I could chew. I said I would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many…
“I write short fiction. They’re ‘to-do lists’”
For some people, a "to-do list" is a short list of things that they wish to do, but will not. "I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists" was posted on…
“I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass”
"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass" is a jocular put-down that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…