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July 29, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I got fired because I couldn’t make a thousand tubes of glue an hour. I guess I couldn’t handle a fast paste working environment”

A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…

June 22, 2017
Work/Businesses

“I got fired from my job at the clock factory today. After all those extra hours I put in!”

Putting in extra hours at work -- is that a good or a bad thing? "I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I put in" is a joke that was posted…

November 10, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It’s too bad really… I had a blast working there!”

"I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's too bad really... I had a blast working there" was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on July 7, 2021. The "blast" pun was more…

June 22, 2017
Work/Businesses

“I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off”

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off" went viral on Twitter on November 19, 2010. The one-liner has been included on many jokes…

July 8, 2018
Work/Businesses

“I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends”

"Wick ends" can sound a little like "weekends." "Does a trimmer in a candle factory ever work wick ends?" was published in a syndicated joke column in February 1953. A…

December 28, 2025
Work/Businesses

“I got hired at the thermometer factory. It’s just a temp job”

"Temp" work means "temporary" work. "Temp" has nothing to do with taking "temperature," but there are jokes. "I thought I'd finally got my dream…

December 28, 2025
Work/Businesses

“I got hired at the thermometer factory. It’s just temp work”

"Temp" work means "temporary" work. "Temp" has nothing to do with taking "temperature," but there are jokes. "I thought I'd finally got my dream…

March 15, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I got hired today at the comb factory. It’s just part time”

The following joke about working part-time was posted on Facebook by Katy Haseley to Home Groan Puns on February 24, 2023: "I got hired today at the comb factory. It’s just part time."…

February 28, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I got kicked out of the hospital after telling the coronavirus infected patients to stay positive”

"Stay positive" usually means to stay optimistic, but for a Covid test to "stay positive" means that the person still has the disease. The original authorship of a popular…

June 15, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate”

"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…

May 27, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate”

"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…

October 8, 2019
Work/Businesses

“I got so much procrastinating done today”

"I got so much procrastinating done today" is a jocular work saying that has been printed on many images. "Got up early so I could get more procrastinating done today. Only managed…

February 22, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars. It was an auto body experience”

"Auto body experience" is a pun on "out-of-body-experience," and there are many jokes. "Did you hear about the clairvoyant who repaired his fender bender? He had an auto…

November 6, 2016
Work/Businesses

“I had a life…but my job ate it”

"I had a life...but my job ate it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "Bumper sticker of the day: I had a life but my job ate it" was posted to…

January 16, 2021
Work/Businesses

“I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow”

"I had a lot of stuff to do today. Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow" is a jocular saying about procrastination that has been printed on many images. "I had a lot of stuff to…

January 30, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought…” (joke)

"I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought. They ricocheted off each other and I can't find either anymore" (or "I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another…

January 29, 2024
Work/Businesses

“I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another thought…” (joke)

"I had a thought, but unfortunately I had a second thought. They ricocheted off each other and I can't find either anymore" (or "I had a thought, but unfortunately I had another…

May 9, 2020
Work/Businesses

“I had my patience tested. I’m negative”

"I had my patience tested. I'm negative" -- that is, the speaker has no patience -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Dumb…

December 13, 2020
Work/Businesses

“I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today. It’s my own fault for using the self checkout”

People sometimes get rude cashiers at stores. This was posted on Facebook by Jim Shaver on December 3, 2020: "I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today. I guess it's my own fault…

January 31, 2019
Work/Businesses

“I had to use a store discount card to scrape the ice from the car windscreen, but only got 10% off”

Many people use a credit/discount card to scrape off ice from a car windshield. "RT @Noot54: Damn cold this morning! Had to use store discount card to scrape the ice from the car windscreen,…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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