“I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed”
A joke about Target stores was told by American stand-up comedian Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005) and has been printed on many images:
“I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. Then when I finally walk in, the guy says ‘Can I help you?’ ‘Just practicing!’”
“I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed” was quoted in the Los Angeles (CA) Times on November 16, 2003. The joke was included on the comedy album Mitch All Together, that was recorded in May 2003 and released in December 2003. The full joke from that album was printed on the newsgroup alt.tv.sopranos on January 4, 2007.
Wikipedia: Mitch Hedberg
Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and deadpan delivery. His comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs.
Hedberg’s comedy and onstage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them. He died of a cocaine and heroin drug overdose in 2005.
Wikipedia: Target Corporation
Target Corporation is the eighth-largest retailer in the United States, and is a component of the S&P 500 Index. Founded by George Dayton and headquartered in Minneapolis, the company was originally named Goodfellow Dry Goods in June 1902 before being renamed the Dayton’s Dry Goods Company in 1903 and later the Dayton Company in 1910. The first Target store opened in Roseville, Minnesota in 1962 while the parent company was renamed the Dayton Corporation in 1967.
Google Groups: alt.comedy.standup
Newspapers.com
Black, Attell, Hedberg
Baldwiny
11/16/03
From the L.A. Times
————————————————————
It’s a living, if not quite a life
On the road with three up-and-coming comics, the jokes—and the booze—flow freely. As they tour the heartland in this purer form of showbiz, there’s mirth and there’s misery.
By Paul Brownfield
Times Staff Writer
November 16 2003
(...)
Hedberg’s been doing comedy since after high school, but still he closes his eyes onstage — again, the shyness. Club owners used to tell him to go home and change his clothes, but now that he’s established he can wear his thrift-store-looking get ups with impunity. His act is a series of absurdist one-liners, à la Steven Wright, jokes he thinks up and writes down in a series of notebooks. “I don’t have a microwave, but I do have a clock that occasionally cooks stuff.” Some jokes are interconnected, others aren’t. Onstage, when he says, “I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed,” the effect is of a socially awkward person trying to start dinner conversation.
Google Groups: alt.tv.sopranos
Mitch Hedberg
Gemini Jackson
1/4/07-
Enjoy:
Mitch All Together
(...)
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around. Then when I finally walk in, the guy says “Can I help you?” “Just practicing!”[12]
Twitter
Mitch Hedberg
@M_Hedberg
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.
9:05 AM · Aug 29, 2013·Twitter for iPhone
Reddit—MitchHedberg
Posted by u/PostCucumber October 23, 2018
I tried to walk into Target, but I missed.
Reddit—Oneliners
Posted by u/marcuccione January 9, 2020
I tried to walk into a Target, but I missed
Credit: Mitch Hedburg