A stenography pun is: "I wanted to be a stenographer, but they told me they are not short-handed at the moment." The "short-handed" joke has been cited in print since at least…
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying in many stores. "U can only panic buy if ur loaded. I won't be panic buying" was posted on Twitter by jacqueline shirley on…
The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak caused panic buying in many stores. "U can only panic buy if ur loaded. I won't be panic buying" was posted on Twitter by jacqueline shirley on…
"I wanted to give a fuck today, but it clashes with my outfit" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I wanted to give a fuck today but it clashes with my…
A joke about a silent auction was posted on the website Pun of the Day on May 20, 2018: "I wanted to bid at the silent auction, but it was not aloud." The bid was not "aloud" (a…
Many churches have stained windows. "I was a rubbish church window cleaner. I got rid of all the stains" was printed in The Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book (2010) by English writer,…
"Hard at work" is a saying that can also have a sexual connotation. "I got fired from my job as a porn actor because i wasnt always hard at work" was posted on Twitter on August…
There is a pun about work "shifts." "I got fired for putting in extra shifts at work. It's what you get for working in a keyboard factory" was posted on Twitter on March…
"I was given a book the other day on anger management. I lost it" is a jocular saying -- the "it" can refer to a lost book or a lost anger -- that has been printed on several…
"Woodwork" sounds like "would work." "I'd also tell a joke about carpentry but I'm not sure it woodwork" was posted on Twitter by Amarachi on April 14, 2015.…
There are several jokes that making awnings is a "shady" business. "Because a man makes awnings it doesn't always follow that he is engaged in a shady business" was printed…
Many employees see "the writing on the wall" at their places of employment, an idiom meaning that the employment situation might be ending soon. A joke takes the idiom literally. "my…
"i wasn’t made to work a 9-5, i was made to swim in turquoise waters, eat fruit, and paint in a villa by the sea" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying is an…
The expression "I'm sold" is usually not taken literally, but there are puns. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on December 13, 2017: "I wasn’t sure about getting involved in…
A person can be physically flexible, and the person's schedule can also be flexible. There are several jokes. "So I said to the Gym instructor 'Can you teach me to do the…
"I applied for a job at a sunscreen factory. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. No worries. I'm going to re-apply" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Kim Harman on September…
"Nail-biting" means something that causes anxiety or suspense. This doesn't usually involve actual nail biting, but there are manicure joke. "Just been at the manicure would…
"Close, but no cigar" is a popular expression that has been the subject of several puns. "I asked my grandmother for "something Cuban" for my birthday, and she got me a Che…
"I went to legoland last week and it was packed. People were lined up for blocks" was posted on Twitter by "my puns have a Claus and effect" on November 8, 2018. Legos are…
"Went to the corner shop -- bought four corners" is on several lists of the funniest jokes of all time. The joke has been credited to British prop comedian Tommy Cooper (1921-1984), but…